Only 6% of the autographs in circulation from members of the Beatles are estimated to be real.
The time spent deleting SPAM costs United States businesses $21.6 billion annually.
60.7 percent of eligible voters participated in the 2004 presidential election, the highest percentage in 36 years. However, more than 78 million did not vote. This means President Bush won re-election by receiving votes from less than 31% of all eligible voters in the United States.
John Quincy Adams, sixth president of the United States, loved to skinny dip in the Potomac River.
La Paz, Bolivia has an average annual temperature below 50 degrees Fahrenheit. However, it has never recorded a zero-degree temperature. Same for Stanley, Falkland Islands and Punta Arenas, Chile.
41% of Chinese people eat at least once a week at a fast food restaurant. 35% of Americans do.
A Wisconsin forklift operator for a Miller beer distributor was fired when a picture was published in a newspaper showing him drinking a Bud Light.
G-rated family films earn more money than any other rating. Yet only 3% of Hollywood's output is G-rated.
Richard Hatch, winner of the first "Survivor" reality series, has been charged with tax evasion for failing to report his $1,000,000 prize.
The entire fleet of Unicoi County Tennessee's salt trucks was rendered out of commission in one accident. All three trucks were badly damaged when one of them began skidding down a road, causing a chain reaction accident. Officials blamed road conditions.
More people study English in China than speak it in the United States of America (300 million).
Fast food provider Hardee's has recently introduced the Monster Thickburger. It has 1,420 calories and 107 grams of fat.
More than 2,500 left-handed people are killed each year from using products that are made for right-handed people.
For every person on earth, there are an estimated 200 million insects.
There are 2,000,000 millionaires in the United States.
1.5 million Americans are charged with drunk driving each year.
A Georgia company will mix your loved one's ashes with cement and drop it into the ocean to form an artificial reef.
The Washington Times newspaper is owned by the Rev. Sun Myung Moon.
The busiest shopping hour of the holiday season is between 3:00 pm and 4:00 pm on Christmas Eve.
In 2002, women earned 742,000 bachelor's degrees. Men earned only 550,000 during the same year. The difference is growing so large that many colleges now practice (quietly) affirmative action for male applicants.
Most of the deck chairs on the Queen Mary 2 have had to be replaced because overweight Americans were breaking them.
Actor Bill Murray doesn't have a publicist or an agent.
The day after President George W. Bush was reelected, Canada's main immigration website had 115,000 visitors. Before Bush's re-election, this site averaged about 20,000 visitors each day.
Only 30% of stolen artwork worth more than $1,000,000 each is recovered.
The typical American child receives 70 new toys a year, most of them during the holiday season.
90% of Canada's 31,000,000 citizens live within 100 miles of the U.S. border.
Costco is the largest wine retailer in the United States. Annual wine sales are about $700 million.
The worst air polluter in the entire state of Washington is Mount St. Helens.
There are less than 100 surviving American World War I veterans.
Actor Bruce Willis has filed a lawsuit against the movie studio that produced his film "Tears of the Sun", alleging he was struck in the forehead by a fake bullet. Since 2002 (when the movie was in production), the lawsuit claims he has endured "extreme mental, physical, and emotional pain and suffering".
A ten year old mattress weighs double what it did when it was new, because of the -ahem- debris which is absorbed through the years. That debris includes dust mites (their droppings and their decaying bodies), mold, millions of dead skin cells, dandruff, animal and human hair, secretions, excretions, lint, pollen, dust, soil, sand and a lot of perspiration, of which the average person loses a quart per day. Good night!
About 20% of gift cards never are redeemed at the full value of the card.
John Kerry's hometown newspaper, the Lowell Sun, endorsed George W. Bush for president in 2004. Bush's hometown newspaper, the Lone Star Iconoclast, endorsed John Kerry for president in 2004.
Only 939 of the 1,400,000 high school seniors who took the SAT in 2004 got a perfect score of 1600. Two of them are twin brothers Dillon and Jesse Smith from Long Island, NY.
Billboard magazine has recently launched a top 20 chart of cell phone ringtones.
The US Army is handing out $2,500 to Fallujah residents whose property was destroyed by US planes and artillery.
George W. Bush, who presents himself as a man of faith, rarely goes to church. Yet he received votes from nearly two out of three voters who attend church at least once a week.
In 2015, it is estimated that half the federal budget will be spent on programs for the elderly.
A private elementary school in Alexandria, Virginia, accidentally served margaritas to its schoolchildren, thinking it was limeade.
The Chicago Cubs are suing former Hartford Courant newspaper carrier Mark Guthrie to get back $301,000 in pay that was intended to go to a Cubs pitcher with the same name. The Tribune Company owns both the Hartford Courant and the Chicago Cubs.
In February 2004, a Disney World employee was killed when he fell from a parade float and was trapped between two float sections. OSHA termed this a serious workplace violation, but Disney was fined only $6,300.
Even today, 90% of the continental United States is still open space or farmland.
The second Saturday in September is usually a popular time for weddings. Not in 2004, as most couples did not want their anniversaries on September 11.
Mel Gibson has personally earned almost $400,000,000 from his movie "The Passion of the Christ".
Austin High School in Texas has removed candy from its vending machines. Now some enterprising students are earning $200 per week dealing in black market candy.
In 2004, Virgin Atlantic Airlines introduced a double bed for first class passengers who fly together.
The world's largest book, "Bhutan: A Visual Odyssey" is in a Chicago public library. The book measures 5 feet tall by 7 feet wide when open. It weighs 133 pounds.
If the recent U.S. election was held in Canada, John Kerry would have beaten George Bush in a landslide - 64% to 19%.
Oprah Winfrey and Elvis Presley are distant cousins.
55% of Americans claim they would continue working even if they received a $10,000,000 lottery prize.
The company that manufactures the greatest number of women's dresses each year is Mattel. Barbie's got to wear something.
All radios in North Korea have been rigged so listeners can only receive a North Korean government station. The United States recently announced plans to smuggle $2,000,000 worth of small radios into the country so North Koreans can get a taste of (what their government calls) "rotten imperialist reactionary culture".
La Paz, Bolivia is the world's most fireproof city. At 12,000 feet about sea level, the amount of oxygen in the air barely supports a flame.
The estates of 22 dead celebrities earned over $5 million in 2004. These celebrities include Elvis Presley, Dr. Seuss, Charles Schulz, J.R.R. Tolkien and John Lennon.
George Washington spent about 7% of his annual salary on liquor.
Each year, more people are killed by teddy bears than by grizzly bears.
If you disassembled the Great Pyramid of Cheops, you would get enough stones to encircle the earth with a brick wall twenty inches high.
Nearly one third of New York City public school teachers send their own children to private schools.
The New York City Police Department has a $3.3 billion annual budget, larger than all but 19 of the world's armies.
CBS's fine for Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" in the 2004 Super Bowl show was $550,000. This could be paid with only 7.5 seconds of commercial time during the same Super Bowl telecast.
In September 2004, a Minnesota state trooper issued a speeding ticket to a motorcyclist who was clocked at 205 mph.
Al Gore's roommate in college (Harvard, class of 1969) was Tommy Lee Jones.
In her later years, Florence Nightingale kept a pet owl in her pocket.
The New York Jets were unable to find hotel rooms for a game in Indianapolis recently because they had all been booked up by people attending Gencon, a gaming convention.
China is the world's largest market for BMW's top of the line 760Li. This car sells for $200,000 in China - more than almost all people in China make in a lifetime.
A chef's hat is shaped the way it is for a reason: its shape allows air to circulate around the scalp, keeping the head cool in a hot kitchen.
Life expectancy for Russian men has actually gone down over the past 40 years. A Russian male born today can expect to live an average 58 years.
Each year, sixteen million gallons of oil run off pavement into streams, rivers and eventually oceans in the United States. This is more oil than was spilled by the Exxon Valdez.
An employee of the Alabama Department of Transportation installed spyware on his boss's computer and proved that the boss spent 10% of his time working (20% of time checking stocks and 70% of the time playing solitaire). The employee was fired, the boss kept his job.
Solid structures (parking lots, roads, buildings) in the United States cover an area the size of Ohio.
A Brussels Airlines flight to Vienna was aborted because the pilot was attacked in the cockpit. The attacker was a passenger's cat, who got out of its travel bag.
Physicists have already performed a simple type of teleportation, transferring the quantum characteristics of one atom onto another atom at a different location.
At General Motors, the cost of health care for employees now exceeds the cost of steel.
There is a regulation size half-court where employees can play basketball inside the Matterhorn at Disneyland.
One of pitcher Nolan Ryan's jockstraps recently sold at auction for $25,000.
About Me
- sarumiok
- HOUSTON, TEXAS, United States
- Moses @ 287 871 8020 Getting Paid is Getting Made... http://capidomeexpress.blogspot.com/
Thursday, November 19, 2009
5
Television stations hung banners at the 2004 Democratic National Convention, including Al-Jazeera, until it was noticed and taken down.
A woman was chewing what was left of her chocolate bar when she entered a Metro station in Washington DC. She was arrested and handcuffed; eating is prohibited in Metro stations.
The New York City subway system, in an effort to raise revenue, is considering selling sponsorships of individual stations to corporations. Riders could soon be getting off at Nike Grand Central Station or Sony Times Square.
The Nike swoosh was designed by a Portland State University student, and purchased by Nike for $35.
Gerald Ford once worked as a cover model for Cosmopolitan magazine.
Gillette spent $1,000,000 to place razor samples in the welcome bags handed out at the Democratic National Convention, only to have them confiscated as they were considered a threat. This caused huge delays at all security checkpoints.
Quebec City, Canada, has about as much street crime as Disney World.
Jim Carrey voted in 2004 at the Beverly Hills City Hall. He had an assistant wait in line for him, however.
As part of a charity event, 500 cats were spayed and neutered in the cafeteria of an elementary school. School was cancelled for days and $10,000 was spent on cleaning and sterilizing the room.
The United States has five percent of the world's population, but twenty-five percent of the world's prison population.
The largest McDonald's is in Beijing, China - measuring 28,000 square feet. It has twenty nine cash registers.
A house in Baghdad worth $15,000 before the Iraq war now sells for $120,000 to $150,000.
There are between 5,000 and 7,000 tigers kept as pets in the United States.
The fertility rate in states that voted for George Bush is 12% higher than states that favored John Kerry.
The chicken is one of the few things that man eats before it's born and after it's dead.
The number of US college students studying Latin is three times the number studying Arabic.
If you hook Jell-O up to an EEG, it registers movements almost identical to a human adult's brain waves.
Some dogs can predict when a child will have an epileptic seizure, and even protect the child from injury. They're not trained to do this, they simply learn to respond after observing at least one attack.
32 out of 33 samples of well-known brands of milk purchased in Los Angeles and Orange counties in California had trace amounts of perchlorate. Perchlorate is the explosive component in rocket fuel.
The remains of 125 people will be launched into space where they will orbit the Earth for centuries.
The leading cause of on-the-job deaths in workplaces in America is homicide.
So far, Congress has authorized $152,600,000,000 for the Iraq war. This is enough to build over 17,500 elementary schools.
Americans take an average of just ten days per year vacation. In France, the law guarantees everyone five weeks of vacation, and most full-time workers get two full months vacation.
The IRS admits that one in five people who call their help line get the wrong answer to their question.
20% of Americans think that the sun orbits around the Earth.
Harry S Truman's middle name was S. Just S, without the period. (thanks to Eric Snyder)
Van Halen singer David Lee Roth trained to be an EMT in New York City, and planned to be certified by November 2004.
The thong accounts for 25% of the United States women's underwear market.
On average, 40% of all hotel rooms in the United States remain empty every night.
When you hear a bullwhip snap, it's because the tip is traveling faster than the speed of sound.
There is a new television show on a British cable called "Watching Paint Dry". Viewers watch in real-time. Gloss, semi-gloss, matte, satin, you name it. Then viewers vote out their least favorite.
The largest ocean liners pay a $250,000 toll for each trip through the Panama Canal. The canal generates fully one-third of Panama's entire economy.
French author Michel Thaler published a 233 page novel which has no verbs.
The spring thaw finally allows cemeteries in Alaska to start digging graves for those who died during the winter.
When Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen turned 18 in mid-2004, they took official control of a company worth more than the gross national product of Mongolia. Their earnings in 2003 topped $1 billion.
Orthodox rabbis warned that New York City drinking water might not be kosher; it contains harmless micro-organisms that are technically shellfish.
David Bowie thinks he is being stalked by someone who is dressed like a giant pink rabbit. Bowie has noticed the fan at several recent concerts, but he became alarmed when he got on a plane and the bunny was on board.
A party boat filled with 60 men and women capsized in Texas after all the passengers rushed to one side as the boat passed a nude beach.
In 1997, a woman in Bradenton, Florida lost her cat. In 2004, she got a call from the local animal shelter. The cat turned up wandering the streets in San Francisco, California. The cat's identity was proven with a microchip that had been implanted prior to 1997.
Almost 20% of the billions of dollars American taxpayers are spending to rebuild Iraq are lost to theft, kickbacks and corruption.
The treasury department has more than twenty people assigned to catching people who violate the trade and tourism embargo with Cuba. In contrast, it has only four employees assigned to track the assets of Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein.
There are 40,000 New York City cab drivers, who collectively drive more than a million miles each day.
An estimated 800,000 senior citizens voluntarily give up their driving privileges each year. The average age at which they surrender the wheel is 85.
More than 8,100 US troops are still listed as missing in action from the Korean war.
3,400,000 Americans are considered "Extreme Commuters". These people commute over 90 minutes round trip every day to work.
82% of Americans made a purchase at Wal-Mart in 2002.
Oslo, Norway is the world's most expensive city. A gallon on gas costs almost $5, and it costs $1.32 to use the public restrooms.
Villanova University's commencement speaker this year is the actor who plays Big Bird.
In 1965, auditions were held for the "Monkees" TV show. Some of the people who responded (but were not hired) were Stephen Stills, Harry Nilsson, Paul Williams and Charles Manson.
Kevin Spacey's older brother is a professional Rod Stewart impersonator.
71% of office workers stopped on the street for a survey agreed to give up their computer passwords in exchange for a chocolate bar.
George W. Bush and John Kerry are 16th cousins, three times removed.
If current trends continue, Medicare costs will absorb 51% of all income tax revenues by 2042.
The prison system is the largest supplier of mental health services in America, with 250,000 Americans with mental illness living there.
Researchers have found that doctors who spend at least three hours a week playing video games make about 37% fewer mistakes in laparoscopic surgery than surgeons who didn't play video games.
Before he had his own show, Jerry Seinfeld appeared on three episodes of the TV show "Benson" as the governor's speechwriter.
There are 1,008 McDonald's franchises in France.
Hostess Twinkies were originally filled with banana filling. The filling was changed during World War II when the United States experienced a banana shortage.
World War II veterans are now dying at the rate of about 1,100 each day.
George W. Bush is probably going to be the eighth president in US history to have completed a term in office without ever having issued a single veto.
A deployed air bag adds as much as $2,000 to the cost of repairing a vehicle. That's enough for insurance companies to often declare the car "totaled".
For the first time in history, the number of people on the planet aged 60 or over will soon surpass those under 5.
One out of five people in the world (1.1 billion people) live on less than $1 per day.
The Swedish pop group ABBA recently turned down an offer of $2 billion to reunite.
The New Yorker magazine now has more subscribers in California than New York.
Five years ago, 60% of all retail purchases were made with cash or check. Now it's 50%. By 2010, 39% of purchases will be made by cash or check.
35 Billion e-mails are sent each day throughout the world.
The richest self-made American under 40 is Michael Dell, chairman of Dell Computers. He is worth $18 billion.
Legislators in Santa Fe, New Mexico, are considering a law that would require pets to wear seat belts when traveling in a car.
Life Savers got their shape by a malfunctioning machine, which mistakenly punched a hole in the center of each candy.
SUV sales are up 18% in the first quarter of 2004 vs. the same period of 2003, even though gas prices are skyrocketing. Consumer surveys show that gas prices would have to hit $3.75 per gallon before there will be any real impact on SUV sales.
Airport security agents at Logan Airport in Boston, Massachusetts caught a passenger trying to sneak a severed seal head onto a plane inside a cooler. The man said he was a biology professor and had found the dead animal on the beach.
Jimmy Carter once reported a UFO in Georgia.
There are 150,000,000 cell phones in use in the United States, more than one per every two human beings in the country.
A Boeing 767 airliner is made of 3,100,000 separate parts.
A woman was chewing what was left of her chocolate bar when she entered a Metro station in Washington DC. She was arrested and handcuffed; eating is prohibited in Metro stations.
The New York City subway system, in an effort to raise revenue, is considering selling sponsorships of individual stations to corporations. Riders could soon be getting off at Nike Grand Central Station or Sony Times Square.
The Nike swoosh was designed by a Portland State University student, and purchased by Nike for $35.
Gerald Ford once worked as a cover model for Cosmopolitan magazine.
Gillette spent $1,000,000 to place razor samples in the welcome bags handed out at the Democratic National Convention, only to have them confiscated as they were considered a threat. This caused huge delays at all security checkpoints.
Quebec City, Canada, has about as much street crime as Disney World.
Jim Carrey voted in 2004 at the Beverly Hills City Hall. He had an assistant wait in line for him, however.
As part of a charity event, 500 cats were spayed and neutered in the cafeteria of an elementary school. School was cancelled for days and $10,000 was spent on cleaning and sterilizing the room.
The United States has five percent of the world's population, but twenty-five percent of the world's prison population.
The largest McDonald's is in Beijing, China - measuring 28,000 square feet. It has twenty nine cash registers.
A house in Baghdad worth $15,000 before the Iraq war now sells for $120,000 to $150,000.
There are between 5,000 and 7,000 tigers kept as pets in the United States.
The fertility rate in states that voted for George Bush is 12% higher than states that favored John Kerry.
The chicken is one of the few things that man eats before it's born and after it's dead.
The number of US college students studying Latin is three times the number studying Arabic.
If you hook Jell-O up to an EEG, it registers movements almost identical to a human adult's brain waves.
Some dogs can predict when a child will have an epileptic seizure, and even protect the child from injury. They're not trained to do this, they simply learn to respond after observing at least one attack.
32 out of 33 samples of well-known brands of milk purchased in Los Angeles and Orange counties in California had trace amounts of perchlorate. Perchlorate is the explosive component in rocket fuel.
The remains of 125 people will be launched into space where they will orbit the Earth for centuries.
The leading cause of on-the-job deaths in workplaces in America is homicide.
So far, Congress has authorized $152,600,000,000 for the Iraq war. This is enough to build over 17,500 elementary schools.
Americans take an average of just ten days per year vacation. In France, the law guarantees everyone five weeks of vacation, and most full-time workers get two full months vacation.
The IRS admits that one in five people who call their help line get the wrong answer to their question.
20% of Americans think that the sun orbits around the Earth.
Harry S Truman's middle name was S. Just S, without the period. (thanks to Eric Snyder)
Van Halen singer David Lee Roth trained to be an EMT in New York City, and planned to be certified by November 2004.
The thong accounts for 25% of the United States women's underwear market.
On average, 40% of all hotel rooms in the United States remain empty every night.
When you hear a bullwhip snap, it's because the tip is traveling faster than the speed of sound.
There is a new television show on a British cable called "Watching Paint Dry". Viewers watch in real-time. Gloss, semi-gloss, matte, satin, you name it. Then viewers vote out their least favorite.
The largest ocean liners pay a $250,000 toll for each trip through the Panama Canal. The canal generates fully one-third of Panama's entire economy.
French author Michel Thaler published a 233 page novel which has no verbs.
The spring thaw finally allows cemeteries in Alaska to start digging graves for those who died during the winter.
When Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen turned 18 in mid-2004, they took official control of a company worth more than the gross national product of Mongolia. Their earnings in 2003 topped $1 billion.
Orthodox rabbis warned that New York City drinking water might not be kosher; it contains harmless micro-organisms that are technically shellfish.
David Bowie thinks he is being stalked by someone who is dressed like a giant pink rabbit. Bowie has noticed the fan at several recent concerts, but he became alarmed when he got on a plane and the bunny was on board.
A party boat filled with 60 men and women capsized in Texas after all the passengers rushed to one side as the boat passed a nude beach.
In 1997, a woman in Bradenton, Florida lost her cat. In 2004, she got a call from the local animal shelter. The cat turned up wandering the streets in San Francisco, California. The cat's identity was proven with a microchip that had been implanted prior to 1997.
Almost 20% of the billions of dollars American taxpayers are spending to rebuild Iraq are lost to theft, kickbacks and corruption.
The treasury department has more than twenty people assigned to catching people who violate the trade and tourism embargo with Cuba. In contrast, it has only four employees assigned to track the assets of Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein.
There are 40,000 New York City cab drivers, who collectively drive more than a million miles each day.
An estimated 800,000 senior citizens voluntarily give up their driving privileges each year. The average age at which they surrender the wheel is 85.
More than 8,100 US troops are still listed as missing in action from the Korean war.
3,400,000 Americans are considered "Extreme Commuters". These people commute over 90 minutes round trip every day to work.
82% of Americans made a purchase at Wal-Mart in 2002.
Oslo, Norway is the world's most expensive city. A gallon on gas costs almost $5, and it costs $1.32 to use the public restrooms.
Villanova University's commencement speaker this year is the actor who plays Big Bird.
In 1965, auditions were held for the "Monkees" TV show. Some of the people who responded (but were not hired) were Stephen Stills, Harry Nilsson, Paul Williams and Charles Manson.
Kevin Spacey's older brother is a professional Rod Stewart impersonator.
71% of office workers stopped on the street for a survey agreed to give up their computer passwords in exchange for a chocolate bar.
George W. Bush and John Kerry are 16th cousins, three times removed.
If current trends continue, Medicare costs will absorb 51% of all income tax revenues by 2042.
The prison system is the largest supplier of mental health services in America, with 250,000 Americans with mental illness living there.
Researchers have found that doctors who spend at least three hours a week playing video games make about 37% fewer mistakes in laparoscopic surgery than surgeons who didn't play video games.
Before he had his own show, Jerry Seinfeld appeared on three episodes of the TV show "Benson" as the governor's speechwriter.
There are 1,008 McDonald's franchises in France.
Hostess Twinkies were originally filled with banana filling. The filling was changed during World War II when the United States experienced a banana shortage.
World War II veterans are now dying at the rate of about 1,100 each day.
George W. Bush is probably going to be the eighth president in US history to have completed a term in office without ever having issued a single veto.
A deployed air bag adds as much as $2,000 to the cost of repairing a vehicle. That's enough for insurance companies to often declare the car "totaled".
For the first time in history, the number of people on the planet aged 60 or over will soon surpass those under 5.
One out of five people in the world (1.1 billion people) live on less than $1 per day.
The Swedish pop group ABBA recently turned down an offer of $2 billion to reunite.
The New Yorker magazine now has more subscribers in California than New York.
Five years ago, 60% of all retail purchases were made with cash or check. Now it's 50%. By 2010, 39% of purchases will be made by cash or check.
35 Billion e-mails are sent each day throughout the world.
The richest self-made American under 40 is Michael Dell, chairman of Dell Computers. He is worth $18 billion.
Legislators in Santa Fe, New Mexico, are considering a law that would require pets to wear seat belts when traveling in a car.
Life Savers got their shape by a malfunctioning machine, which mistakenly punched a hole in the center of each candy.
SUV sales are up 18% in the first quarter of 2004 vs. the same period of 2003, even though gas prices are skyrocketing. Consumer surveys show that gas prices would have to hit $3.75 per gallon before there will be any real impact on SUV sales.
Airport security agents at Logan Airport in Boston, Massachusetts caught a passenger trying to sneak a severed seal head onto a plane inside a cooler. The man said he was a biology professor and had found the dead animal on the beach.
Jimmy Carter once reported a UFO in Georgia.
There are 150,000,000 cell phones in use in the United States, more than one per every two human beings in the country.
A Boeing 767 airliner is made of 3,100,000 separate parts.
4
The average child recognizes over 200 company logos by the time he enters first grade.
Last December, the House of Representatives earmarked $50,000,000 to create an indoor rain forest in Iowa.
Amusement park attendance goes up after a fatal accident. It seems many people want to ride upon the same ride that killed someone.
For every ton of fish that is caught in all the oceans on our planet, there are three tons of garbage dumped into the oceans.
June Foray did the voice for Rocky the Flying Squirrel and the Chatty Cathy dolls.
Japanese and Chinese people die on the fourth of the month more often than any other dates. The reason may be that they are "scared to death" by the number four. The words four and death sound alike in both Chinese and Japanese.
People with initials that spell out GOD or ACE are likely to live longer than people whose initials spell out words like APE, PIG, or RAT.
More people in the United States die during the first week of the month than during the last, an increase that may be a result of the abuse of substances purchased with benefit checks that come at the beginning of each month.
In the film Forrest Gump, all the still photos show Forrest with his eyes closed.
There are an average of 18,000,000 items for sale at any time on EBay.
The New York Times reports that in February 2004, 62% of all e-mail was spam.
U.K. telecom provider Telewest Broadband is testing a device that hooks to your PC and wafts a scent when certain e-mails arrive.
In 1993, David McLean developed lung cancer. He died on October 12, 1995. McLean's death made him the second Marlboro Man to die of lung cancer. Another actor, Wayne McLaren, died in 1992 at the age of 51 from lung cancer.
There is a bar in London that sells vaporized vodka, which is inhaled instead of sipped.
According to market research firm NPD Fashionworld, fifty percent of all lingerie purchases are returned to the store.
On EBay, there are an average of $680 worth of transactions each second.
The Eiffel Tower shrinks 6 inches in winter.
The first FAX machine was patented in 1843, 33 years before Alexander Graham Bell demonstrated the telephone.
72% of Americans sign their pets' names on greeting cards they send out.
In an effort to encourage the use of nuclear energy, the United States lent highly enriched uranium to countries all over the world between 1950 and 1988. Enough weapons-grade material to make 1,000 nuclear bombs has still not been returned by such countries as Pakistan, Iran, Israel and South Africa.
Homing pigeons use roads where possible to help find their way home. In fact, some pigeons followed roads so closely that they actually flew around traffic circles before choosing the exit that led them home.
A snowflake can take up to a hour to fall from the cloud to the surface of the Earth.
Only 5 percent of the ocean floor has been mapped in as much detail as the surface of Mars.
The only people whose likenesses adorn Pez dispensers are Betsy Ross and Paul Revere.
Pain is measured in units of "dols". The instrument used to measure pain is a "dolorimeter".
In a nod to astronauts, Texas is the only state that permits residents to cast absentee ballots from space.
Eleven top executives of the Direct Marketing Association (the telemarketers' group that is trying to kill the federal "Do Not Call" list) have registered for the list themselves.
An iceberg the size of Long Island, New York, has broken off Antarctica and has blocked sea lanes used by both ships and penguins.
In 2003, the Transportation Security Administration dropped a requirement that air marshals pass a marksmanship test. Some applicants were even hired after they repeatedly shot flight attendants in mock hijacking episodes.
As of January 2004, the United States economy now borrows $1,500,000,000 each day from foreign investors.
A Costa Rican worker who makes baseballs earns about $2,750 annually. The average American pro baseball player earns $2,377,000 per year.
Former keyboard player for Jethro Tull David Palmer is now a woman named Dee Palmer. He waited until his wife died before going through with his longtime desire for a sex change.
During Bill Clinton's entire eight year presidency, he only sent two e-mails. One was to John Glenn when he was aboard the space shuttle, and the other was a test of the e-mail system.
Albert Einstein never knew how to drive a car.
The UK's best selling hiking magazine published faulty coordinates for descending Scotland's tallest peak (Ben Nevis), and recommended a route that leads climbers off the edge of a cliff.
The Mars Rover "Spirit" is powered by six small motors the size of "C" batteries. It has a top speed of 0.1 mph.
Zeppo Marx (the unfunny one of the Marx Brothers) had a patent for a wristwatch with a heart monitor.
The entire town of Capena, Italy (including children as young as 2 years old) lights up cigarettes each year in honor of St. Anthony's Day. This tradition is centuries old.
Microsoft threatened 17 year old Mike Rowe with a lawsuit after the young man launched a website named MikeRoweSoft.com.
As of January 1, 2004, the population of the United States increases by one person every 12 seconds. There is a birth every eight seconds, an immigrant is added every 25 seconds, but a death every 13 seconds.
There is a Starbucks in Myungdong, South Korea that is five stories tall.
There has been no mail delivery in Canada on Saturday for the last thirty five years.
The weight of air in a milk glass is about the same as the weight of an aspirin tablet.
The world's smallest winged insect is the Tanzanian parasitic wasp. It's smaller than the eye of a housefly.
Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
If you have three quarters, four dimes and four cents, you have $1.19. But you cannot make exact change for a dollar.
There are more plastic flamingoes in the United States than real ones.
The chance that you will die on the way to buy your lottery ticket is greater than the chance of you winning the big prize in most lotteries.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Dolly Parton once lost a Dolly Parton Look-Alike contest.
An average of 100 people choke to death on ball point pens each year.
The National Anthem of Greece has 158 verses.
Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.
The Bible has been translated into Klingon.
Toto was paid $125 per week while filming the "Wizard of Oz".
All polar bears are left handed.
To help reduce budget deficits, several states have begun reducing the amount of food served to prison inmates. In Texas, the number of daily calories served to prisoners was cut by 300, saving the state $6,000,000 per year.
The only member of the band ZZ Top without a beard has the last name Beard.
Pope John Paul II is the world's Scrabble champion in the over-70 category.
Montpelier, Vermont is the only state capitol without a McDonald's.
In 1993, the board of governors at Carl Karcher Enterprises voted (5 to 2) to fire Carl Karcher. Carl Karcher is the founder of Carls Jr. restaurants.
The little hole in the sink that lets the water drain out, instead of flowing over the side, is called a "porcelator."
The wingspan of a Boeing 747 jet is longer than the Wright Brothers' first flight.
Ted Turner owns 5% of New Mexico.
Over 8 years, this happened 284 times: "Cosmo" Kramer went through Jerry Seinfeld's apartment door.
The cruise liner Queen Elizabeth 2 moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel fuel that it burns.
There are more 100 dollar bills in Russia currently than there are in the United States.
It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
65% of Elvis impersonators are of Asian descent.
Burt Reynolds was originally cast to be Han Solo in the first Star Wars film. He dropped out before filming.
Pope John Paul II was named an "Honorary Harlem Globetrotter" in 2000.
There are only three types of snakes on the island of Tasmania and all three are deadly poisonous.
Last December, the House of Representatives earmarked $50,000,000 to create an indoor rain forest in Iowa.
Amusement park attendance goes up after a fatal accident. It seems many people want to ride upon the same ride that killed someone.
For every ton of fish that is caught in all the oceans on our planet, there are three tons of garbage dumped into the oceans.
June Foray did the voice for Rocky the Flying Squirrel and the Chatty Cathy dolls.
Japanese and Chinese people die on the fourth of the month more often than any other dates. The reason may be that they are "scared to death" by the number four. The words four and death sound alike in both Chinese and Japanese.
People with initials that spell out GOD or ACE are likely to live longer than people whose initials spell out words like APE, PIG, or RAT.
More people in the United States die during the first week of the month than during the last, an increase that may be a result of the abuse of substances purchased with benefit checks that come at the beginning of each month.
In the film Forrest Gump, all the still photos show Forrest with his eyes closed.
There are an average of 18,000,000 items for sale at any time on EBay.
The New York Times reports that in February 2004, 62% of all e-mail was spam.
U.K. telecom provider Telewest Broadband is testing a device that hooks to your PC and wafts a scent when certain e-mails arrive.
In 1993, David McLean developed lung cancer. He died on October 12, 1995. McLean's death made him the second Marlboro Man to die of lung cancer. Another actor, Wayne McLaren, died in 1992 at the age of 51 from lung cancer.
There is a bar in London that sells vaporized vodka, which is inhaled instead of sipped.
According to market research firm NPD Fashionworld, fifty percent of all lingerie purchases are returned to the store.
On EBay, there are an average of $680 worth of transactions each second.
The Eiffel Tower shrinks 6 inches in winter.
The first FAX machine was patented in 1843, 33 years before Alexander Graham Bell demonstrated the telephone.
72% of Americans sign their pets' names on greeting cards they send out.
In an effort to encourage the use of nuclear energy, the United States lent highly enriched uranium to countries all over the world between 1950 and 1988. Enough weapons-grade material to make 1,000 nuclear bombs has still not been returned by such countries as Pakistan, Iran, Israel and South Africa.
Homing pigeons use roads where possible to help find their way home. In fact, some pigeons followed roads so closely that they actually flew around traffic circles before choosing the exit that led them home.
A snowflake can take up to a hour to fall from the cloud to the surface of the Earth.
Only 5 percent of the ocean floor has been mapped in as much detail as the surface of Mars.
The only people whose likenesses adorn Pez dispensers are Betsy Ross and Paul Revere.
Pain is measured in units of "dols". The instrument used to measure pain is a "dolorimeter".
In a nod to astronauts, Texas is the only state that permits residents to cast absentee ballots from space.
Eleven top executives of the Direct Marketing Association (the telemarketers' group that is trying to kill the federal "Do Not Call" list) have registered for the list themselves.
An iceberg the size of Long Island, New York, has broken off Antarctica and has blocked sea lanes used by both ships and penguins.
In 2003, the Transportation Security Administration dropped a requirement that air marshals pass a marksmanship test. Some applicants were even hired after they repeatedly shot flight attendants in mock hijacking episodes.
As of January 2004, the United States economy now borrows $1,500,000,000 each day from foreign investors.
A Costa Rican worker who makes baseballs earns about $2,750 annually. The average American pro baseball player earns $2,377,000 per year.
Former keyboard player for Jethro Tull David Palmer is now a woman named Dee Palmer. He waited until his wife died before going through with his longtime desire for a sex change.
During Bill Clinton's entire eight year presidency, he only sent two e-mails. One was to John Glenn when he was aboard the space shuttle, and the other was a test of the e-mail system.
Albert Einstein never knew how to drive a car.
The UK's best selling hiking magazine published faulty coordinates for descending Scotland's tallest peak (Ben Nevis), and recommended a route that leads climbers off the edge of a cliff.
The Mars Rover "Spirit" is powered by six small motors the size of "C" batteries. It has a top speed of 0.1 mph.
Zeppo Marx (the unfunny one of the Marx Brothers) had a patent for a wristwatch with a heart monitor.
The entire town of Capena, Italy (including children as young as 2 years old) lights up cigarettes each year in honor of St. Anthony's Day. This tradition is centuries old.
Microsoft threatened 17 year old Mike Rowe with a lawsuit after the young man launched a website named MikeRoweSoft.com.
As of January 1, 2004, the population of the United States increases by one person every 12 seconds. There is a birth every eight seconds, an immigrant is added every 25 seconds, but a death every 13 seconds.
There is a Starbucks in Myungdong, South Korea that is five stories tall.
There has been no mail delivery in Canada on Saturday for the last thirty five years.
The weight of air in a milk glass is about the same as the weight of an aspirin tablet.
The world's smallest winged insect is the Tanzanian parasitic wasp. It's smaller than the eye of a housefly.
Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
If you have three quarters, four dimes and four cents, you have $1.19. But you cannot make exact change for a dollar.
There are more plastic flamingoes in the United States than real ones.
The chance that you will die on the way to buy your lottery ticket is greater than the chance of you winning the big prize in most lotteries.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Dolly Parton once lost a Dolly Parton Look-Alike contest.
An average of 100 people choke to death on ball point pens each year.
The National Anthem of Greece has 158 verses.
Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.
The Bible has been translated into Klingon.
Toto was paid $125 per week while filming the "Wizard of Oz".
All polar bears are left handed.
To help reduce budget deficits, several states have begun reducing the amount of food served to prison inmates. In Texas, the number of daily calories served to prisoners was cut by 300, saving the state $6,000,000 per year.
The only member of the band ZZ Top without a beard has the last name Beard.
Pope John Paul II is the world's Scrabble champion in the over-70 category.
Montpelier, Vermont is the only state capitol without a McDonald's.
In 1993, the board of governors at Carl Karcher Enterprises voted (5 to 2) to fire Carl Karcher. Carl Karcher is the founder of Carls Jr. restaurants.
The little hole in the sink that lets the water drain out, instead of flowing over the side, is called a "porcelator."
The wingspan of a Boeing 747 jet is longer than the Wright Brothers' first flight.
Ted Turner owns 5% of New Mexico.
Over 8 years, this happened 284 times: "Cosmo" Kramer went through Jerry Seinfeld's apartment door.
The cruise liner Queen Elizabeth 2 moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel fuel that it burns.
There are more 100 dollar bills in Russia currently than there are in the United States.
It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
65% of Elvis impersonators are of Asian descent.
Burt Reynolds was originally cast to be Han Solo in the first Star Wars film. He dropped out before filming.
Pope John Paul II was named an "Honorary Harlem Globetrotter" in 2000.
There are only three types of snakes on the island of Tasmania and all three are deadly poisonous.
3
Between 1942 and 1944, Academy Awards were made of plaster.
John Madden is an accomplished ballroom dancer.
In 21 states, Wal-Mart is the single largest employer.
Jim Gordon, drummer of Derek and the Dominos ("Layla"), killed his mother with a claw hammer.
One of Hewlett Packard's first ideas was an automatic urinal flusher.
Eric Clapton did not play the very famous first riff on the song "Layla". That was Duane Allman. Clapton comes in later.
There are more cars in Southern California than there are cows in India.
The two-foot long bird called a Kea that lives in New Zealand likes to eat the strips of rubber around car windows.
The province of Alberta, Canada is completely free of rats.
Illinois has the most personalized license plates of any state.
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.
The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it.
Fleas can jump 130 times higher than their own height. In human terms this is equal to a 6 foot person jumping 780 feet into the air.
Snakes are true carnivores as they eat nothing but other animals. They do not eat any type of plant material.
There are no venomous snakes in Maine.
The blue whale can produce sounds up to 188 decibels. This is the loudest sound produced by a living animal and has been detected as far away as 530 miles.
Erosion at the base of Niagara Falls (USA) undermines the shale cliffs and as a result, the falls have receded approximately 7 miles over the last 10,000 years.
The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
North Dakota has never had an earthquake.
Alexander Graham Bell (who invented the telephone) also set a world water-speed record of over seventy miles an hour at the age of 72.
There is enough fuel in a full tank of a jumbo jet to drive an average car four times around the world.
Hawaii is moving toward Japan 4 inches every year.
Chimps are the only animals that can recognize themselves in a mirror.
The leg bones of a bat are so thin that no bat can walk.
If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.
In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
Almonds are members of the peach family.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
One person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
The dot that appears over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
All major league baseball umpires must wear black underwear while on the job (in case their pants split).
The Spanish word esposa means "wife." The plural, esposas, means "wives," but also "handcuffs."
If all Americans used one third less ice in their drinks the United States would become a net exporter instead of an importer of energy.
If the Nile River were stretched across the United States, it would run nearly from New York to Los Angeles.
San Francisco cable cars are the only National Monuments that move.
The Hoover Dam was built to last 2,000 years. Its concrete will not be fully cured for another 500 years.
Abraham Lincoln's dog, Fido, was assassinated too.
All of David Letterman's suits are custom made - there are no creases in his suit trousers.
Cranberry Jell-O is the only flavor that contains real fruit flavoring.
Fewer than half of the 16,200 major league baseball players have ever hit a home run.
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
Richard Versalle, a tenor performing at New York's Metropolitan Opera House, suffered a heart attack and fell 10 feet from a ladder to the stage just after singing the line "You can only live so long."
If the entire population of earth was reduced to exactly 100 people, 51% would be female, 49% male; 50% of the world's currency would be held by 6 people, one person would be nearly dead, one nearly born.
In 1920, Babe Ruth out-homered every American League team.
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.
Toxic house plants poison more children than household chemicals.
The original name of Bank of America was Bank of Italy.
The ant, when intoxicated, will always fall over to its right side.
The California Department of Motor Vehicles has issued six driver's licenses to six different people named Jesus Christ.
Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike each year than all the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
People in China and Japan die disproportionately on the 4th of each month because the words death and four sound alike, and they are represented by the same symbol.
Chicago is closer to Moscow than it is to Rio de Janeiro.
Dogs have two sets of teeth, just like humans. They first have 30 "puppy" teeth, then 42 adult teeth.
In 1950, President Harry Truman threw out the first ball twice at the opening day Washington DC baseball game; once right handed and once left handed.
A Swiss ski resort announced it would combat global warming by wrapping its mountain glaciers in aluminum foil to keep them from melting.
The chameleon has a tongue that is one and a half times the length of his body.
Beethoven dipped his head in cold water before he composed.
There once was a town named "6" in West Virginia.
Ten years ago, only 500 people in China could ski. This year, an estimated 5,000,000 Chinese will visit ski resorts.
In 1920, Babe Ruth broke the single season home run record, with 29. The same year, he became the first major leaguer to hit 30 home runs. The same year, he became the first major leaguer to hit 40 home runs. The same year, he became the first major leaguer to hit 50 home runs.
A Nigerian woman was caught entering the UK with 104 kg of snails in her baggage.
Profanity is typically cut from in-flight movies to make them suitable for general audiences. Fox Searchlight Pictures has substituted "Ashcroft" for "A**hole" in the movie Sideways when dubbed for Aerolineas Argentinas flights.
Author Hunter S. Thompson, who committed suicide recently, wanted to be cremated and his ashes to be shot out of a cannon on his ranch.
Sports Illustrated magazine allows subscribers to opt out of receiving the famous swimsuit issue each year. Fewer than 1% choose this option.
There is a company that will (for $14,000) take your ashes, compress them into a synthetic diamond to be set in jewelry for a loved one.
The RIAA sued an 83 year old woman for downloading music illegally, even though a copy of her death certificate was sent to the RIAA a week before it filed the suit.
Two 1903 paintings recently sold at auction for $590,000 - the paintings were in the famous "Dogs Playing Poker" series.
Russian scientists have developed a new drug that prolongs drunkenness and enhances intoxication.
Romanian firefighters could not get their trucks close enough to a burning building, so they put out the fire by throwing snowballs at it.
A perfect SAT score is 1600 combined. Bill Gates scored 1590 on his SAT. Paul Allen, Bill's partner in Microsoft, scored a perfect 1600. Bill Cosby scored less than 500 combined.
Motorists traveling outside Salem, Oregon saw one of the "litter cleanup" signs crediting the American Nazi party. Marion County officials had no choice but to let that group into the adopt-a-road program. The $500 per sign was picked up by Oregon taxpayers. The Ku Klux Klan is also involved in the adopt-a-road program in the state of Arkansas.
Spam filters that catch the word "cialis" will not allow many work-related e-mails through because that word is embedded inside the word "specialist".
McDonald's restaurants will buy 54,000,000 pounds of fresh apples this year. Two years ago, McDonald's purchased 0 pounds of apples. This is attributed to the shift to more healthy menu options (the Apple Pie, which has been at McDonald's for years uses processed Apple Pie Filling).
The biggest dog on record was an Old English Mastiff that weighed 343 pounds. He was 8 feet, 3 inches from nose to tail.
Mailmen in Russia now carry revolvers after a recent decision by the government.
All of Queen Anne's 17 children died before she did.
There are over 87,000 Americans on waiting lists for organ transplants.
American made parts account for only 1% of the Chrysler Crossfire. 96% of the Ford F-150 Heritage Truck is American.
A Dutch court ruled that a bank robber could deduct the 2,000 Euros he paid for his pistol from the 6,600 Euros he has to return to the bank he robbed.
John Madden is an accomplished ballroom dancer.
In 21 states, Wal-Mart is the single largest employer.
Jim Gordon, drummer of Derek and the Dominos ("Layla"), killed his mother with a claw hammer.
One of Hewlett Packard's first ideas was an automatic urinal flusher.
Eric Clapton did not play the very famous first riff on the song "Layla". That was Duane Allman. Clapton comes in later.
There are more cars in Southern California than there are cows in India.
The two-foot long bird called a Kea that lives in New Zealand likes to eat the strips of rubber around car windows.
The province of Alberta, Canada is completely free of rats.
Illinois has the most personalized license plates of any state.
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.
The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it.
Fleas can jump 130 times higher than their own height. In human terms this is equal to a 6 foot person jumping 780 feet into the air.
Snakes are true carnivores as they eat nothing but other animals. They do not eat any type of plant material.
There are no venomous snakes in Maine.
The blue whale can produce sounds up to 188 decibels. This is the loudest sound produced by a living animal and has been detected as far away as 530 miles.
Erosion at the base of Niagara Falls (USA) undermines the shale cliffs and as a result, the falls have receded approximately 7 miles over the last 10,000 years.
The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
North Dakota has never had an earthquake.
Alexander Graham Bell (who invented the telephone) also set a world water-speed record of over seventy miles an hour at the age of 72.
There is enough fuel in a full tank of a jumbo jet to drive an average car four times around the world.
Hawaii is moving toward Japan 4 inches every year.
Chimps are the only animals that can recognize themselves in a mirror.
The leg bones of a bat are so thin that no bat can walk.
If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.
In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
Almonds are members of the peach family.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
One person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
The dot that appears over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
All major league baseball umpires must wear black underwear while on the job (in case their pants split).
The Spanish word esposa means "wife." The plural, esposas, means "wives," but also "handcuffs."
If all Americans used one third less ice in their drinks the United States would become a net exporter instead of an importer of energy.
If the Nile River were stretched across the United States, it would run nearly from New York to Los Angeles.
San Francisco cable cars are the only National Monuments that move.
The Hoover Dam was built to last 2,000 years. Its concrete will not be fully cured for another 500 years.
Abraham Lincoln's dog, Fido, was assassinated too.
All of David Letterman's suits are custom made - there are no creases in his suit trousers.
Cranberry Jell-O is the only flavor that contains real fruit flavoring.
Fewer than half of the 16,200 major league baseball players have ever hit a home run.
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
Richard Versalle, a tenor performing at New York's Metropolitan Opera House, suffered a heart attack and fell 10 feet from a ladder to the stage just after singing the line "You can only live so long."
If the entire population of earth was reduced to exactly 100 people, 51% would be female, 49% male; 50% of the world's currency would be held by 6 people, one person would be nearly dead, one nearly born.
In 1920, Babe Ruth out-homered every American League team.
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.
Toxic house plants poison more children than household chemicals.
The original name of Bank of America was Bank of Italy.
The ant, when intoxicated, will always fall over to its right side.
The California Department of Motor Vehicles has issued six driver's licenses to six different people named Jesus Christ.
Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike each year than all the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
People in China and Japan die disproportionately on the 4th of each month because the words death and four sound alike, and they are represented by the same symbol.
Chicago is closer to Moscow than it is to Rio de Janeiro.
Dogs have two sets of teeth, just like humans. They first have 30 "puppy" teeth, then 42 adult teeth.
In 1950, President Harry Truman threw out the first ball twice at the opening day Washington DC baseball game; once right handed and once left handed.
A Swiss ski resort announced it would combat global warming by wrapping its mountain glaciers in aluminum foil to keep them from melting.
The chameleon has a tongue that is one and a half times the length of his body.
Beethoven dipped his head in cold water before he composed.
There once was a town named "6" in West Virginia.
Ten years ago, only 500 people in China could ski. This year, an estimated 5,000,000 Chinese will visit ski resorts.
In 1920, Babe Ruth broke the single season home run record, with 29. The same year, he became the first major leaguer to hit 30 home runs. The same year, he became the first major leaguer to hit 40 home runs. The same year, he became the first major leaguer to hit 50 home runs.
A Nigerian woman was caught entering the UK with 104 kg of snails in her baggage.
Profanity is typically cut from in-flight movies to make them suitable for general audiences. Fox Searchlight Pictures has substituted "Ashcroft" for "A**hole" in the movie Sideways when dubbed for Aerolineas Argentinas flights.
Author Hunter S. Thompson, who committed suicide recently, wanted to be cremated and his ashes to be shot out of a cannon on his ranch.
Sports Illustrated magazine allows subscribers to opt out of receiving the famous swimsuit issue each year. Fewer than 1% choose this option.
There is a company that will (for $14,000) take your ashes, compress them into a synthetic diamond to be set in jewelry for a loved one.
The RIAA sued an 83 year old woman for downloading music illegally, even though a copy of her death certificate was sent to the RIAA a week before it filed the suit.
Two 1903 paintings recently sold at auction for $590,000 - the paintings were in the famous "Dogs Playing Poker" series.
Russian scientists have developed a new drug that prolongs drunkenness and enhances intoxication.
Romanian firefighters could not get their trucks close enough to a burning building, so they put out the fire by throwing snowballs at it.
A perfect SAT score is 1600 combined. Bill Gates scored 1590 on his SAT. Paul Allen, Bill's partner in Microsoft, scored a perfect 1600. Bill Cosby scored less than 500 combined.
Motorists traveling outside Salem, Oregon saw one of the "litter cleanup" signs crediting the American Nazi party. Marion County officials had no choice but to let that group into the adopt-a-road program. The $500 per sign was picked up by Oregon taxpayers. The Ku Klux Klan is also involved in the adopt-a-road program in the state of Arkansas.
Spam filters that catch the word "cialis" will not allow many work-related e-mails through because that word is embedded inside the word "specialist".
McDonald's restaurants will buy 54,000,000 pounds of fresh apples this year. Two years ago, McDonald's purchased 0 pounds of apples. This is attributed to the shift to more healthy menu options (the Apple Pie, which has been at McDonald's for years uses processed Apple Pie Filling).
The biggest dog on record was an Old English Mastiff that weighed 343 pounds. He was 8 feet, 3 inches from nose to tail.
Mailmen in Russia now carry revolvers after a recent decision by the government.
All of Queen Anne's 17 children died before she did.
There are over 87,000 Americans on waiting lists for organ transplants.
American made parts account for only 1% of the Chrysler Crossfire. 96% of the Ford F-150 Heritage Truck is American.
A Dutch court ruled that a bank robber could deduct the 2,000 Euros he paid for his pistol from the 6,600 Euros he has to return to the bank he robbed.
2
It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is "shake" and the 46th word from the last word is "spear".
If you stretch a standard Slinky out flat it measures 87 feet long.
The strength of early lasers was measured in Gillettes, the number of blue razor blades a given beam could puncture.
The drive-through line on opening day at the McDonald's restaurant in Kuwait City, Kuwait was at times seven miles long.
Point Roberts in Washington State is cut off from the rest of the state by British Columbia, Canada. If you wish to travel from Point Roberts to the rest of the state or vice versa, you must pass through Canada, including both Canadian and U.S. customs.
The Pentagon in Washington, D. C. has five sides, five stories, and five acres in the middle.
Sylvia Miles had the shortest performance ever nominated for an Oscar with "Midnight Cowboy." Her entire role lasted only six minutes.
There is an ATM at McMurdo Station in Antarctica, which has a winter population of 200.
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
Newborn babies are given to the wrong mother in the hospital 12 times a day worldwide.
The Starbucks at the highest elevation is on Main Street in Breckenridge, Colorado.
Each year, over 1,000,000 people fail to itemize out the mortgage interest deduction on their income taxes. Last year, this amounted to $473,000,000 in taxes.
In 1998, more fast-food employees were murdered on the job than police officers.
The lead singer of The Knack, famous for "My Sharona," and Jack Kevorkian's lead defense attorney are brothers, Doug and Jeffrey Feiger.
Two very popular and common objects have the same function, but one has thousands of moving parts, while the other has absolutely no moving parts - an hourglass and a sundial.
One out of three employees who received a promotion use a coffee mug with the company logo on it.
If you know a (male) millionaire who happens to be married, The most likely profession of his wife is a teacher.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
1 pound of lemons contain more sugar than 1 pound of strawberries.
The "you are here" arrow on maps is called an ideo locator.
60% of all US potato products originate in Idaho.
61,000 people are airborne over the US at any given time.
A flamingo can eat only when its head is upside down.
Mark Twain was born on a day in 1835 when Halley's Comet came into view. When he died in 1910, Halley's Comet was in view again.
The Weddell seal can travel underwater for seven miles without surfacing for air.
In 1963, baseball pitcher Gaylord Perry remarked, "They'll put a man on the moon before I hit a home run." On July 20, 1969, a few hours after Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon, Gaylord Perry hit his first (and only) home run.
The longest words in the English language with only one syllable are the nine-letter "screeched" and "strengths".
Pinocchio is Italian for "pine eye".
All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" read 4:20.
A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
A snail can have about 25,000 teeth.
A snail can also sleep for three years.
A starfish can turn its stomach inside out.
A strand from the web of a golden spider is as strong as a steel wire of the same size.
A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans.
About a third of all Americans flush the toilet while they're still sitting on it.
According to Genesis 1:20-22 the chicken came before the egg.
Soldiers from every country salute with their right hand.
The microwave oven was invented by mistake when an engineer testing a magnetron tube noticed that the radiation from it melted the chocolate bar he had in his pocket.
Moisture, not air, causes super glue to dry.
Only 14% of Americans say they've skinny dipped with the opposite sex.
"60 Minutes" on CBS is the only TV show to not have a theme song or music.
Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace.
Most boat owners name their boats. The most popular boat name requested is Obsession.
100% of all lottery winners gain weight.
An average American will spend an average of 6 months during his lifetime waiting at red lights.
The Olympic flag's colors are always red, black, blue, green and yellow rings on a field of white. This is because at least one of those colors appears on the flag of every nation on the planet.
Cats can hear ultrasound.
In a recent survey, Americans revealed that banana was their favorite smell.
In all three Godfather films, when you see oranges, there is a death (or a very close call) coming up soon.
If you were to spell out numbers, you would you have to go until 1,000 until you would find the letter "A".
23% of employees say they have had sex in the office.
Bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers were all invented by women.
Married men change their underwear twice as often as single men.
There are more collect calls on Father's Day than any other day of the year.
Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
40% of all people who come to a party in your home snoop in your medicine cabinet.
3.9% of all women surveyed say they never wear underwear.
Superman is featured on every episode of "Seinfeld", either by name or pictures on Jerry's refrigerator.
85% of the men who cheat on their wives die while having sex.
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served first class.
Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28
Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38
Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same woman if they had it to do all over again: 80
Percentage of American women who say they would marry the same man: 50
Percentage of men who say they are happier after their divorce or separation: 58
Percentage of women who say they are happier: 85
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches
Percentage of bird species that are monogamous: 90
Percentage of mammal species that are monogamous: 3
Chances that a burglary in the United States will be solved: 1 in 7
One third of the land in the United States is owned by the government.
The hummingbird is the only bird that can fly backwards.
If you stretch a standard Slinky out flat it measures 87 feet long.
The strength of early lasers was measured in Gillettes, the number of blue razor blades a given beam could puncture.
The drive-through line on opening day at the McDonald's restaurant in Kuwait City, Kuwait was at times seven miles long.
Point Roberts in Washington State is cut off from the rest of the state by British Columbia, Canada. If you wish to travel from Point Roberts to the rest of the state or vice versa, you must pass through Canada, including both Canadian and U.S. customs.
The Pentagon in Washington, D. C. has five sides, five stories, and five acres in the middle.
Sylvia Miles had the shortest performance ever nominated for an Oscar with "Midnight Cowboy." Her entire role lasted only six minutes.
There is an ATM at McMurdo Station in Antarctica, which has a winter population of 200.
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
Newborn babies are given to the wrong mother in the hospital 12 times a day worldwide.
The Starbucks at the highest elevation is on Main Street in Breckenridge, Colorado.
Each year, over 1,000,000 people fail to itemize out the mortgage interest deduction on their income taxes. Last year, this amounted to $473,000,000 in taxes.
In 1998, more fast-food employees were murdered on the job than police officers.
The lead singer of The Knack, famous for "My Sharona," and Jack Kevorkian's lead defense attorney are brothers, Doug and Jeffrey Feiger.
Two very popular and common objects have the same function, but one has thousands of moving parts, while the other has absolutely no moving parts - an hourglass and a sundial.
One out of three employees who received a promotion use a coffee mug with the company logo on it.
If you know a (male) millionaire who happens to be married, The most likely profession of his wife is a teacher.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
1 pound of lemons contain more sugar than 1 pound of strawberries.
The "you are here" arrow on maps is called an ideo locator.
60% of all US potato products originate in Idaho.
61,000 people are airborne over the US at any given time.
A flamingo can eat only when its head is upside down.
Mark Twain was born on a day in 1835 when Halley's Comet came into view. When he died in 1910, Halley's Comet was in view again.
The Weddell seal can travel underwater for seven miles without surfacing for air.
In 1963, baseball pitcher Gaylord Perry remarked, "They'll put a man on the moon before I hit a home run." On July 20, 1969, a few hours after Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon, Gaylord Perry hit his first (and only) home run.
The longest words in the English language with only one syllable are the nine-letter "screeched" and "strengths".
Pinocchio is Italian for "pine eye".
All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" read 4:20.
A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
A snail can have about 25,000 teeth.
A snail can also sleep for three years.
A starfish can turn its stomach inside out.
A strand from the web of a golden spider is as strong as a steel wire of the same size.
A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans.
About a third of all Americans flush the toilet while they're still sitting on it.
According to Genesis 1:20-22 the chicken came before the egg.
Soldiers from every country salute with their right hand.
The microwave oven was invented by mistake when an engineer testing a magnetron tube noticed that the radiation from it melted the chocolate bar he had in his pocket.
Moisture, not air, causes super glue to dry.
Only 14% of Americans say they've skinny dipped with the opposite sex.
"60 Minutes" on CBS is the only TV show to not have a theme song or music.
Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace.
Most boat owners name their boats. The most popular boat name requested is Obsession.
100% of all lottery winners gain weight.
An average American will spend an average of 6 months during his lifetime waiting at red lights.
The Olympic flag's colors are always red, black, blue, green and yellow rings on a field of white. This is because at least one of those colors appears on the flag of every nation on the planet.
Cats can hear ultrasound.
In a recent survey, Americans revealed that banana was their favorite smell.
In all three Godfather films, when you see oranges, there is a death (or a very close call) coming up soon.
If you were to spell out numbers, you would you have to go until 1,000 until you would find the letter "A".
23% of employees say they have had sex in the office.
Bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers were all invented by women.
Married men change their underwear twice as often as single men.
There are more collect calls on Father's Day than any other day of the year.
Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
40% of all people who come to a party in your home snoop in your medicine cabinet.
3.9% of all women surveyed say they never wear underwear.
Superman is featured on every episode of "Seinfeld", either by name or pictures on Jerry's refrigerator.
85% of the men who cheat on their wives die while having sex.
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served first class.
Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28
Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38
Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same woman if they had it to do all over again: 80
Percentage of American women who say they would marry the same man: 50
Percentage of men who say they are happier after their divorce or separation: 58
Percentage of women who say they are happier: 85
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches
Percentage of bird species that are monogamous: 90
Percentage of mammal species that are monogamous: 3
Chances that a burglary in the United States will be solved: 1 in 7
One third of the land in the United States is owned by the government.
The hummingbird is the only bird that can fly backwards.
1
Antarctica is the only continent without reptiles or snakes.
An eagle can kill a young deer and fly away with it.
In the Caribbean there are oysters that can climb trees.
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
When George Lucas was mixing the American Graffiti soundtrack, he numbered the reels of film starting with an R and numbered the dialog starting with a D. Sound designer Walter Murch asked George for Reel 2, Dialog 2 by saying "R2D2". George liked the way that sounded so much he integrated that into another project he was working on.
The youngest pope was 11 years old.
Mark Twain didn't graduate from elementary school.
Proportional to their weight, men are stronger than horses.
Pilgrims ate popcorn at the first Thanksgiving dinner.
They have square watermelons in Japan - they stack better.
Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation.
Heinz Catsup leaving the bottle travels at 25 miles per year.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.
Armadillos can be housebroken.
The first Fords had engines made by Dodge.
A mole can dig a tunnel 300 feet long in just one night.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite.
Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone.
A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a 4 foot tall child inside.
A quarter has 119 grooves on its edge, a dime has one less groove.
A hummingbird weighs less than a penny.
Until 1796, there was a state in the United States called Franklin. Today it is known as Tennessee.
The flashing warning light on the cylindrical Capitol Records tower spells out HOLLYWOOD in Morse code.
Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year.
One in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
The average American will eat about 11.9 pounds of cereal per year.
Over 1,000 birds a year die from smashing into windows.
The State of Florida is bigger than England.
Ants stretch when they wake up in the morning.
It's against the law to have a pet dog in Iceland.
Thomas Edison, light bulb inventor, was afraid of the dark.
During your lifetime, you'll eat about 60,000 pounds of food. That's the weight of about 6 elephants.
Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food.
Dolphins sleep with one eye open.
The world's oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old.
In space, astronauts cannot cry, because there is no gravity, so the tears can't flow.
About 3000 years ago, most Egyptians died by the time they were 30.
More people use blue toothbrushes than red ones.
A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 100 m.p.h.
Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, every time you breathe.
In the White House, there are 13,092 knives, forks and spoons.
Slugs have 4 noses.
Recycling one glass jar saves enough energy to watch TV for 3 hours.
Lightning strikes about 6,000 times per minute on this planet.
Owls are the only birds who can see the color blue.
The average American drinks about 600 sodas a year.
It's against the law to slam your car door in Switzerland.
There wasn't a single pony in the Pony Express, just horses.
Honeybees have hair on their eyes.
A jellyfish is 95 percent water.
In Bangladesh, kids as young as 15 can be jailed for cheating on their finals.
A company in Taiwan makes dinnerware out of wheat, so you can eat your plate.
The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump.
The penguin is the only bird who can swim, but not fly.
The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
Q is the only letter in the alphabet that does not appear in the name of any of the United States.
America once issued a 5-cent bill.
You'll eat about 35,000 cookies in your lifetime.
Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his cap to keep him cool. He changed it every 2 innings.
Fortune cookies were actually invented in America, in 1918, by Charles Jung.
A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue.
Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
The pitches that Babe Ruth hit for his last-ever homerun and that Joe DiMaggio hit for his first-ever homerun where thrown by the same man.
Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
The praying mantis is the only insect that can turn its head.
In Tokyo, they sell toupees for dogs.
There are over 52.6 million dogs in the U.S.
Dogs and cats consume almost $7 billion worth of pet food a year.
Baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms every day.
The Pentagon has twice as many restrooms as necessary. When it was built, segregation was still in place in Virginia, so separate restrooms for blacks and whites were required by law.
In England, in the 1880's, "Pants" was considered a dirty word.
Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
In 2003, there were 86 days of below-freezing weather in Hell, Michigan.
An eagle can kill a young deer and fly away with it.
In the Caribbean there are oysters that can climb trees.
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
When George Lucas was mixing the American Graffiti soundtrack, he numbered the reels of film starting with an R and numbered the dialog starting with a D. Sound designer Walter Murch asked George for Reel 2, Dialog 2 by saying "R2D2". George liked the way that sounded so much he integrated that into another project he was working on.
The youngest pope was 11 years old.
Mark Twain didn't graduate from elementary school.
Proportional to their weight, men are stronger than horses.
Pilgrims ate popcorn at the first Thanksgiving dinner.
They have square watermelons in Japan - they stack better.
Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation.
Heinz Catsup leaving the bottle travels at 25 miles per year.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.
Armadillos can be housebroken.
The first Fords had engines made by Dodge.
A mole can dig a tunnel 300 feet long in just one night.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite.
Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone.
A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a 4 foot tall child inside.
A quarter has 119 grooves on its edge, a dime has one less groove.
A hummingbird weighs less than a penny.
Until 1796, there was a state in the United States called Franklin. Today it is known as Tennessee.
The flashing warning light on the cylindrical Capitol Records tower spells out HOLLYWOOD in Morse code.
Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year.
One in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
The average American will eat about 11.9 pounds of cereal per year.
Over 1,000 birds a year die from smashing into windows.
The State of Florida is bigger than England.
Ants stretch when they wake up in the morning.
It's against the law to have a pet dog in Iceland.
Thomas Edison, light bulb inventor, was afraid of the dark.
During your lifetime, you'll eat about 60,000 pounds of food. That's the weight of about 6 elephants.
Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food.
Dolphins sleep with one eye open.
The world's oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old.
In space, astronauts cannot cry, because there is no gravity, so the tears can't flow.
About 3000 years ago, most Egyptians died by the time they were 30.
More people use blue toothbrushes than red ones.
A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 100 m.p.h.
Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, every time you breathe.
In the White House, there are 13,092 knives, forks and spoons.
Slugs have 4 noses.
Recycling one glass jar saves enough energy to watch TV for 3 hours.
Lightning strikes about 6,000 times per minute on this planet.
Owls are the only birds who can see the color blue.
The average American drinks about 600 sodas a year.
It's against the law to slam your car door in Switzerland.
There wasn't a single pony in the Pony Express, just horses.
Honeybees have hair on their eyes.
A jellyfish is 95 percent water.
In Bangladesh, kids as young as 15 can be jailed for cheating on their finals.
A company in Taiwan makes dinnerware out of wheat, so you can eat your plate.
The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump.
The penguin is the only bird who can swim, but not fly.
The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
Q is the only letter in the alphabet that does not appear in the name of any of the United States.
America once issued a 5-cent bill.
You'll eat about 35,000 cookies in your lifetime.
Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his cap to keep him cool. He changed it every 2 innings.
Fortune cookies were actually invented in America, in 1918, by Charles Jung.
A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue.
Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
The pitches that Babe Ruth hit for his last-ever homerun and that Joe DiMaggio hit for his first-ever homerun where thrown by the same man.
Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
The praying mantis is the only insect that can turn its head.
In Tokyo, they sell toupees for dogs.
There are over 52.6 million dogs in the U.S.
Dogs and cats consume almost $7 billion worth of pet food a year.
Baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms every day.
The Pentagon has twice as many restrooms as necessary. When it was built, segregation was still in place in Virginia, so separate restrooms for blacks and whites were required by law.
In England, in the 1880's, "Pants" was considered a dirty word.
Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
In 2003, there were 86 days of below-freezing weather in Hell, Michigan.
True Facts about the Human Body
True Facts about the Human Body
As you age, your eye color gets lighter.
There are 206 bones in the adult human body, but 300 in children (some of the bones fuse together as a child grows).
The human eye blinks an average of 4,200,000 times a year.
It takes approximately 12 hours for food to entirely digest.
The longest living cells in the body are brain cells which can live an entire lifetime.
There are more living organisms on the skin of a single human being than there are human beings on the surface of the earth.
Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.
Lorne Greene had one of his nipples bitten off by an alligator while he was host of "Lorne Greene's Animal Kingdom".
Life expectancy for Russian men has actually gone down over the past 40 years. A Russian male born today can expect to live an average 58 years.
In 1985, the most popular waist size for men's pants was 32. In 2003, it's 36.
Seven percent of Americans claim they never bathe at all.
In 2004, one in six girls in the United States enter puberty at age 8. A hundred years ago, only one in a hundred entered puberty that early.
Newest trend in the Netherlands: Tiny jewels implanted directly into the eye.
A British gymnast survived a fall from a fourth story window because he went into a somersault and came down on two feet.
Jeffrey and Sheryl McGowen in Houston turned to vitro fertilization. Two eggs were implanted in Sheryl's womb, and both of them split. Sheryl gave birth to two sets of identical twins at once.
In 1991, the average bra size in the United States was 34B. Today it's 36C.
The average North Korean 7-year-old is almost three inches shorter than the average South Korean 7-year-old.
Every year, 2700 surgical patients go home from the hospital with metal tools, sponges, and other objects left inside them. In 2000, 57 people died as a result of these mistakes.
We forget 80 percent of what we learn everyday.
Pain is measured in units of "dols". The instrument used to measure pain is a "dolorimeter".
The Amish a diet high in meat, dairy, refined sugars and calories. Yet obesity is virtually unknown among them. The difference is since they have no TVs, cars or powered machines, they spend their time in manual labor.
As of January 1, 2004, the population of the United States increases by one person every 12 seconds. There is a birth every eight seconds, an immigrant is added every 25 seconds, but a death every 13 seconds.
Astronauts cannot burp in space. There is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in their stomachs.
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.
Fidgeting can burn about 350 calories a day.
Wearing headphones for an hour increases the bacteria in your ear 700 times.
A baby is born without kneecaps. They appear between age 2 and 6.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
In a recent survey, Americans revealed that banana was their favorite smell.
The arteries and veins surrounding the brain stem called the "circle of Willis" looks like a stick person with a large head.
Brushing your teeth regularly has been shown to prevent heart disease.
A kiss stimulates 29 muscles and chemicals causing relaxation. Women seem to like it light and frequent, men like it more strenuous.
Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.
Your nose and ears never stop growing.
Men get hiccups more often than women.
Human teeth are almost as hard as rocks.
Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year.
Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.
Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day.
Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, every time you breathe.
One quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet.
Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails.
The average person laughs 15 times a day.
As you age, your eye color gets lighter.
There are 206 bones in the adult human body, but 300 in children (some of the bones fuse together as a child grows).
The human eye blinks an average of 4,200,000 times a year.
It takes approximately 12 hours for food to entirely digest.
The longest living cells in the body are brain cells which can live an entire lifetime.
There are more living organisms on the skin of a single human being than there are human beings on the surface of the earth.
Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.
Lorne Greene had one of his nipples bitten off by an alligator while he was host of "Lorne Greene's Animal Kingdom".
Life expectancy for Russian men has actually gone down over the past 40 years. A Russian male born today can expect to live an average 58 years.
In 1985, the most popular waist size for men's pants was 32. In 2003, it's 36.
Seven percent of Americans claim they never bathe at all.
In 2004, one in six girls in the United States enter puberty at age 8. A hundred years ago, only one in a hundred entered puberty that early.
Newest trend in the Netherlands: Tiny jewels implanted directly into the eye.
A British gymnast survived a fall from a fourth story window because he went into a somersault and came down on two feet.
Jeffrey and Sheryl McGowen in Houston turned to vitro fertilization. Two eggs were implanted in Sheryl's womb, and both of them split. Sheryl gave birth to two sets of identical twins at once.
In 1991, the average bra size in the United States was 34B. Today it's 36C.
The average North Korean 7-year-old is almost three inches shorter than the average South Korean 7-year-old.
Every year, 2700 surgical patients go home from the hospital with metal tools, sponges, and other objects left inside them. In 2000, 57 people died as a result of these mistakes.
We forget 80 percent of what we learn everyday.
Pain is measured in units of "dols". The instrument used to measure pain is a "dolorimeter".
The Amish a diet high in meat, dairy, refined sugars and calories. Yet obesity is virtually unknown among them. The difference is since they have no TVs, cars or powered machines, they spend their time in manual labor.
As of January 1, 2004, the population of the United States increases by one person every 12 seconds. There is a birth every eight seconds, an immigrant is added every 25 seconds, but a death every 13 seconds.
Astronauts cannot burp in space. There is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in their stomachs.
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.
Fidgeting can burn about 350 calories a day.
Wearing headphones for an hour increases the bacteria in your ear 700 times.
A baby is born without kneecaps. They appear between age 2 and 6.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
In a recent survey, Americans revealed that banana was their favorite smell.
The arteries and veins surrounding the brain stem called the "circle of Willis" looks like a stick person with a large head.
Brushing your teeth regularly has been shown to prevent heart disease.
A kiss stimulates 29 muscles and chemicals causing relaxation. Women seem to like it light and frequent, men like it more strenuous.
Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.
Your nose and ears never stop growing.
Men get hiccups more often than women.
Human teeth are almost as hard as rocks.
Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year.
Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.
Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day.
Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, every time you breathe.
One quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet.
Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails.
The average person laughs 15 times a day.
Men's Rules
Men's Rules
Women should learn these!
Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present again!
Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!
Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)
BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping.
Women should learn these!
Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present again!
Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!
Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)
BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping.
The Ultimate Rejection Letter
Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109
Dear Professor Millington,
Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field
of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor
in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.
The Ultimate Rejection Letter
Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.
Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109
Dear Professor Millington,
Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field
of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor
in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.
The Ultimate Rejection Letter
Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.
Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen
Dirty Dictionary
Dirty Dictionary
A
AC/DC - Bisexual.
Acorn - The head of the penis.
Alaskan Fire Dragon - Get the chick on her knees for a BJ. Right after you
blow your load, clamp her mouth shut, and whisper in her ear, "I've got
syphillis." The spooge should shoot out her nose in record time.
Angel - Male who pays for sexual acts.
Angry Dragon - Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.
Auntie - An aging male homosexual.
Animal play - When one or both partners pretend to be an animal (Ex - dog, horse) in a role play.
Areola - The dark red or light brown ring of skin surrounding the nipple.
Auto -Eroticism - Masturbation
Auto -Felatio - Performing fellatio (oral sex) on one`s own penis
Arabian Goggles - A "seldom-seen" maneuver when you put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but what the fuck else is new
Aeroplane Blonde - One who has bleached / dyed her hair but still has a 'black box.
Around the World - The act of kissing the entire body as a prelude to sex.
Aussie Kiss - similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
Auxiliary Intercoure - Sexual climax achieved by moving the erect penis back and forth in the armpit
Azozoospermia - Semen containing no sperm, either because the testicles cannot make sperm or because of blockage in the reproductive tract.
B
Back Door - A euphemism for the anus.
Badly Packed Kebab - A vulgar (but still excellent) term for the female genitalia
Butch - A lesbian who prefers traditionally masculine dress, style, expression, or identity.
Bag - The scrotum.
Bang, banged, banging, bangs - To have sexual intercourse with.
Ball - To have intercourse.
Ballsacking - Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you're able to do it, always great fun. While you are straddling her, take your nutsack and spread it out over her face like pizza dough.
Balloon Knot - When you bend over and I can see up right up the wazoo.
That's a balloon knot that you see.
Bag it - wearing a condom during intercourse.
Back Yard - The buttocks.
Back Scuttle - Perform anal intercourse.
Bait N' Tackle - The sailors used this one in the old Navy days. Before you go off for a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a tall jar and fill it completely with earthworms. When you get lonely, open the jar and fuck away. The earthworms will provide some slithery stimulation, and your protein load will keep them nicely fed. Gone fishing!
Barely Legal - Girls who have reached the age of 18, or look like they've just turned 18, newbies to porn.
Barebacking - unprotected sex.
Beaver Leaver - A homosexual (male)
Bimbot - A pornslut who is as cold and unfeeling during sex as her plastic boobs, lips, cheeks, etc.
Bismarck - During oral sex, right before you are about to cum, you pull out,
shooting your load all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear the
blood and cum together.
Beer Dick - This is what most guys get after a good night of drinking. They tend to fuck anything with a pussy while experiencing beer dick
Blue Balls - Severe need to experience sexual orgasm.
Blowjob - The act or an instance of fellatio.
Brownie Queen - Passive partner in anal intercourse.
Bear Claw - A synonym for extremely large pussy lips.
Bronco, The - You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.
Brown Bagging It - Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like there's no tomorrow but a face like a mangy dog. Don't let that body go to waste and let her hideousness stop you from fucking her though. Just draw the smiley face on a brown paper bag, place it over her head, and fuck away while keeping your composure and piece of mind.
Butter Face - When you see a chick with an awesome body, "but her face", is nasty.
Bukkake - Showering a person with sperm from one or many men. In ancient Japan, there is a legend that unfaithful women were publicly humiliated in the town center by being tied up while every man in town ejaculated all over her to show their distaste.
Butt Plug - A dildo specially designed for insertion into the anus. Usually has a flared base to prevent it from going in too far.
Bull Dagger - an extremely masculine lesbian. The term is often used negatively.
Betty - Slang term for an attractive female.
Blumpkin - Term meaning to receive oral sex while defecating.
Blumpy - You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.
BOBFOC - Body Of Baywatch, Face Of Crimewatch.
Bone Of Contention - A hard-on that causes an argument, e.g. one that arises when a man is watching Olympic beach volleyball on TV with his girlfriend.
Booty Call - Slang term for a late -night or last minute phone call with the intention of attaining sex.
Boink/Bonk - To have intercourse with.
Boiler Suit - The prosecution charge that you did wilfully, and with phallus aforethought, score with a BOBFOC last night. This charge is usually brought by a kangaroo court of your friends in the pub on Saturday night.
Boff, boffed boffing, boffs - To have sexual intercourse with. v. intr. To engage in sexual intercourse .
Brown Eye - The chocolate coloration of various shades found around many female's assholes. It assumed that a girl possessing such will always do anal sex.
Brown Necktie - You're about halfway through ass-wrecking a chick, and instead of filling up her keister with your demonseed, you pull out and proceed to tittie fuck her, leaving a brown streak between the funbags.
Brownie Queen - Passive partner in anal intercourse.
Bruce Lee - Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).
Brunski - When a man puts his face between a woman's breasts and quickly moves his head back and forth while saying "Brunski" in a very drawn out and exaggerated manner. (There are many other variant names.)
Bonk - Have sexual intercourse with.
Bugger - to perform anal sex, often referring to sex with animals.
Bullwinkle - The sign given to a friend in hiding while doggie styling' some chick. It is performed by placing both hands over the head, with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting "Hey Rocky." (Make sure to use appropriate Bullwinkle voice tone.)
Bunny Boiler - A partner in a relationship that acts irrationally and with
impulsive, extreme, behavior. The term originated from the Glen Close
character in the movie Fatal Attraction
Butter Face - When you see a chick with an awesome body, "but her face", is nasty.
C
Cherry - One who is still a virgin.
Closet Queen - A male homosexual who hides his desires for men.
Cleveland Steamer - The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the mammaries.
Canine Special - Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick and call over the family dog. Lick Ubu lick. Good Dog. Arf!
Carpet Cleaner - While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her face first across the carpet. Not recommended with large women.
Carpet Munching - Performing cunnilingus.
Chicken Choker - A person who masturbates
Chicken Cutlet - While banging a bitch on the beach, pull out your cock roll it around in some sand and stick it back in.
Chili Dog - You take a shit on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty
fuck her.
Chocolate Chips/Chocolate Syrup- The guy pulls out of her ass...what's that brown stuff?
Chocolate Pizza - Happily discovering hemorrhoids while eating a shitty brown eye.
Cockblock - To interfere with a man's attempts to seduce a woman.
Cock-Stuffing - Apparently somewhat on the fringe in gay circles, but involves using thin, cylindrical items (thermometers, wire, rubber worms, etc.), and inserting them into the dick hole. Over many months, continue to gradually ream out the hole-at-the-head with larger items, thus ultimately allowing your "buddy" to obtain the goal of fucking your urethra. Wow!
Cold Lunch - The act of vomiting directly onto some chick's head while she's performing fellatio.
Compton Gangbang - You meet a young lady at the bar. She tells you she has a boyfriend, but she ends up going home with you anyway for a one-night stand. When you take her to your place, tell your friends to wait outside your bedroom door. Just when she's about to get off, your friends barge in the room and plainly beat the shit out of her. That should teach her not to fuck around. (Ladies, feel free to perform a Compton Gangbang on guys too. I know you've got some fat girlfriends to help you out.)
Concoction - First, ejaculate all over the floor. Next, have your psycho bitch girlfriend menstruate on your semen. Stir it with your finger until you get a nice thick pink mixture. Proceed to paint yourselves up silly, just as if you were in kindergarten again.
Cop's Delight - The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and spewing all over her "pastry buns", thus transforming her rump into the allusion of an oversized, quivering glazed donut.
Corkscrew - Cross your fingers, middle over index. Twist your wrist back and forth and go to work on your desired orifice. With practice, you'll have the effectiveness of a dill press and within weeks you'll be able to bore through wood.
Corn - Originating from the fine campus of Cornell University comes this unique, rarely used term. Saying that a girl is "Corn" means, she is so fucking hot, so beautiful, so utterly drop-dead gorgeous, that you would happily eat the corn out of her shit. Can be used as a great pick-up line or friendly compliment, for instance; "Baby, you're more Corn than Green Giant", or "Damn bitch, you are Corn!"
Couch Bombing - When you fill a small ziploc sandwich bag with Crisco (or your favorite lubrication) and place it between the cushions on the couch. You then proceed to fuck the couch as if it were a woman...but no need to buy It dinner first .
Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.
Cleveland Steamer - The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the mammaries.
Circle Jerk - Where several men get together and masturbate together, doesn`t have to be homosexual
Closet Queena - A male homosexual who hides his desires for other men
Clown Face - An aging slut who wears a pound of makeup to hide her numerous wrinkles since the facelifts aren't taking.
Cluster Fuck - Group sex. Many female holes stuffed to bursting with dildo and vibrator type toys.
Cockteaser - Usually a female who excites a male without carrying on to actual sexual relations
Cowgirl - Refers to the sexual position of a woman sitting upon a reclining man
Cornhole - Slang for the anus, also refers to anal sex
Cream - To ejaculate -I creamed on her tits
Creepin' - To cheat on boy/girlfriend or spouse
Cum Dumpster - A quadriplegic whore.
Cumshake - Porn movie equivalent of a milk shake. Often served in champagne glass.
D
Daisy Chain - Partner (A) is sucking off or eating out partner (B) who is sucking off or eating out partner (C) and so on until the final person is sucking off or eating out partner (A). Partners can be gay, lesbian or straight.
Day-Old Doughnut - Eating out your girlfriend the morning after the
night she went out and fucked someone else
David Copperfield, The (a.ka. The Houdini) - Drill her from behind. Before
you shoot your wad, fake it and spit on her back. When she turns around to
give you that loving smile and hug, cum in her face. So, it's kind of like
an illusion.a sleight of hand...misdirection
Davey Crockett - A sexual maneuver in which you slip muscle relaxants into your gal's snizzpod, then slide your head in, thus wearing your partner's now-relaxed snatch-fur as a coonskin cap. Can come in handy on those cold winter nights.
Dark Meat - Black penis
Dirty Sanchez - A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez
Dirty Swirly - While boning a chick doggie style near a toilet (preferably one filled with a healthy load of shit, or some hot piss, or both), stick her head in the toilet and flush...she'll dig it.
Diddle - To have intercourse with (a woman). 2. To practice masturbation upon
Dogging - Having or observing exhibitionist sex in a public place, usually outdoors. Sometimes the voyeurs join in on the sex, usually they just watch from nearby.
Dog In A Bathtub - This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your
nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as
keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath
Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass, and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate.
Double Bass - A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's Tongue with the other. The position is similar to that used when playing the double bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.
Duff - Designated Ugly Fat Friend. Two hot chicks at a bar will have a really nasty fat ugly bitch hanging out with them, refered to as a "DUFF".
The Dunkin' Delight - When your girl fills her mouth with a cold glass of milk,then sit on her face and dunk your balls in and out of her mouth.
Duct Tape Trick - Wrapping a hamster in duct tape so you can safely fuck it without the danger of a messy split.
Dutch Oven - Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if you're into that sort of thing).
Dutch Treat - The unexpected result of a Dutch Oven gone terribly awry. Can be very messy.
DVDA - The abbreviation for "double -anal, double -vaginal". This is the term used when a girl takes four cocks in two holes. A hard core porn industry norm.
Dental Dam - One type of moisture barrier. People can use one during oral sex to stop STDs, including HIV. It is a square piece of latex that can be put over someone`s anus or vagina. (This way germs cannot get into someone`s mouth from blood or sexual fluids found in the anus or vagina or else into the vagina or anus from blood found in the mouth.) Dentists use it when they work on someone`s mouth so that blood won`t splash everywhere
Double Bagging - Wearing two condoms at once. This in not normally recommended as added friction can cause a higher instance of failure.
E
Erotophobia - Fear or anxiety of sexuality or the expression of sexual love.
Etch-A-Sketch - Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both her nipples simultaneously.
F
Flap Jacks - Small, saggy breasts looking like soggy pancakes or crushed nerf footballs.
Flatties - The diminutive yet perky breasts of young'un porn babes. Degoratory version of flatties is "mosquito bites".
Flogging On - Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites.
Flooding The Cave - Inserting the penis into a woman's pussy and then urinating inside her. Applies to butt pirates as well.
Flying Camel, The - As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her
from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to
prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long,
shrieking howl, much like a coyote.
Flagellation - Sexual
Femoral Coitus - Penis -thigh sex.
Felch - To lick or suck recently deposited semen from a rectum or vagina.
Formicophilia - Enjoyment of the use of insects for sexual purposes.
Fountain of You - While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass,
jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before
releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits.
(Better in her bed).
Fricatrice - A whore.
Figging - Anal play using ginger root (or even a chile pepper). The burning sensation is said to induce intense pleasure.
Fisted, fisting - To insert the fist into the rectum or vagina of (another) as a means of sexual stimulation.
Finger - To digitally stimulate the vulva.
Finger -fuck - To masturbate by means of inserting one's finger(s) into the vestibule of the vagina.
Fire Island - This consists of telling someone you're going to spunk on their face while they are asleep, only half-jokingly, and then when they don't believe you, doing it just to prove that you're that demented.
Fish Eye, The - From behind, you shove your finger in her ass (or his if you
are in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to
see what the hell you are doing
Fishhook - A variation of the shocker in which you pull back towards the
pussy after you stick your finger up her anus
Flaming Amazon - This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When your screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, you pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then...extinguish the flames with your jizz!
Flooding The Cave - Inserting the penis into a woman's pussy and then urinating inside her. Applies to butt pirates as well.
Flying Camel - A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a class move.
Flying Dutchman - This didn't used to be a specific deviant sexual act, it was just a phrase that sounded dirty and would be shouted out during intercourse on occasion simply for the novelty factor. However, its popularity increased and it has now developed into a specific act, namely that of, just as you are about to blow a load, in any sort of sexual situation (even masturbation for those true pioneers who are constantly on the cutting edge of the sexual revolution) you begin to shout, "Here comes the Flying Dutchman!" This should confuse your sexual partner (or whoever is in hearing range) completely, sometimes causing interesting side effects.
Fountain Of You - While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before you release and spew like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed)
Frigmarole - Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.
Frotteur - A person aroused by brushing up against clothed people in public.
Family Jewels - The testicles.
Freak Show Porn - Something so totally outrageous, it's not even about sexuality any more. 1000 man gang bangs, anal cum slurping, severed limb
porno, etc.
Free The Tadpoles - Liberate the residents of the Wank Tanks.
French - To perform oral sex on
French tickler - A condom with ridges, bumps, or something else designed to give women extra stimulation during intercourse. Not reported to work above and beyond what the man is otherwise capable of..
Frottage - When two people rub their bodies together so that they feel good for some type of sexual pleasure. Another phrase for it is dry -humping.
Full House - Having more than one venereal disease at the same time.
FUPA - The upper half of the pubic area on an obese individual. This area can be found just below or behind the last hanging roll of fat on the belly.
FUPA Chalupa - When an extremely obese lady has a fatty flap that hangs over the pussy.
Fur Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane
between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's Afro, when a mammoth fur ball
gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her.
G
Gangbang - 1. Sexual intercourse, often rape, involving one person or victim and several others who have relations with that person in rapid succession.
2. Sexual intercourse involving several people who select and change partners in an indiscriminate manner
Gape - A dilated asshole.
Gaylord Perry - Going to only one knuckle during an anal probe is for wimps.
Make this famous knuckle ball pitcher proud and use multiple
knuckles on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of two knuckles required
(either on one finger or on multiple).
Gender Outlaw - a person who flouts the usual gender roles.
Genderfuck - sending mixed gender messages, especially through appearance, such as wearing a prom dress, combat boots and a mustache.
Get Your Rocks Off - Slang term for orgasm.
Glass Bottom Boat - Putting saran wrap over your partners face and
proceeding to lay a hot shit there.
Glory Hole - Slang term for a hole, usually in a wall, in which a man inserts his penis that is stimulated manually or orally by someone on the other side.
Gobstopper- With two hands, spread your tramp's anus open, then spit a big-ass loogie down the asshole then close it back up. You can give her a smack on the ass when you're done, if you want.
Golden Shower (a.k.a.- watersports) - Any form of pissing all over a chick.
Greek - The act of using your "glue stick" (if you know what I'm saying) and gluing your gal's eyes closed with your man seed. E.g. "Hey guys, check it out, I just greeked her!" or "Sorry honey, but you asked for the Greek salad
Greek Sex - Slang term for anal sex.
Greyhound - A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
Gynotikolobomassophilia - A paraphilia where a person derives becomes extremely aroused by a woman's earlobe.
Gerbiling - The activity of Urban Legend status regarding the insertion of a gerbil or similarly -sized rodent into the anus.
Gunt - This is the area that bulges out on obese women. It's located between the genital area and the waist. When its not a gut or a cunt...its called a GUNT.
Guppy Mouth - Position where the girl is typically on her knees, her head
cocked upwards, her mouth open, many times eyes closed, waiting for the guy
to jack-off on her face, mouth or wherever.
H
Handmade - A large penis allegedly developed through masterbation.
Hand-To-Gland Combat - A vigorous masturbation session.
Head - Oral sex - Give me some head.
Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, you proceed to shit on her
chest.
Hot Pants - Sexually aroused.
Ham And Cheese Sandwich - Eating a woman's box after you ejaculate all over it. A delightful, tasty combination of her yummy meat curtains with your added cheesy topping is sure to appeal to anyone's appetite.
Hershey Highway - When plugging your girl in the ass, you run into some hot diarrhea. Don't hurt her feelings by getting grossed out though, just pretend it's extra lube.
High Dive - The skill of pulling your Johnson all the way out of your partner's hole and in one motion jamming it home again. Best suited for use in the corn hole, but can be very dangerous.
Hindenburg, The - When some slut who is so bad at oral sex, you're forced to cry "Oh! The humanity!" as her teeth scrape your man tool.
Hiudini - While banging your bitch doggystyle build up until your about to cum then pull out and spit on her back, when she turns around let her have it in the face.
Hogging - While intoxicated, high, or just plain desperate, you go searching for the fattest bitch you can find and proceed to ride her like a Harley. Best accomplished with large groups friends.
Hole In One - The act of sticking your dick in your own ass. Just try not to get a huge boner once it's in, or you'll get a nice snapparoo.
Hood Ornament - piercing attached to the clitorial hood
Hotdog In A Hallway - When laying the pipe, you realize your dick isn't even touching the walls of her vagina, kind of like tossing a hotdog in a hallway. Most frequently happens when banging the neighborhood trick or if you're slinging a small dick.
Hot Karl - The act in which a woman sucks the cock of the same man who moments earlier was balls deep in her can.
Hot Karl Candy Cane - A variation of the above in which the man who is receiving the oral cock cleaning gives the woman a reach around.
Hot Karl Candy Cane - A variation of the above in which the man who is receiving the oral cock cleaning gives the woman a reach around.
Hot Lunch - The result of defecating a tube of shit directly into a girl's mouth.
Humjob (hummer) - Oral sex
Hunter Gatherer - You and your partner defecate while 69ing. Pretty much self-explanatory.
I
Indian Cock Burn - While a chick sucks you off, she twists her hand around your shaft as if she was trying to give you an Indian burn.
Icolagnia - Sexual arousal by looking at pictures.
In Door Sports - Swinging activities in general.
J
Jail Bait - One who is under 18 years of age.
Jedi Mind Trick - When banging your partner, you repeatedly shout "I'm NOT fucking you, I'm NOT fucking you".
Jelly Dougnut - A derivation of the Bismark. All you have to do is punch her
in the nose while you are getting head.
Jersey Turnpike - The act of sticking your finger in a girls ass and then
putting that finger in her mouth. If you later find yourself picking your
nose with that finger, that's called getting off at the Newark exit
Jocker - A male homosexual.
Joy Juice - Slang term for the natural vaginal lubrication produced by a sexually aroused female.
Juanita Special Bean Dip - While your tramp rides you like a mechanical bull, insert your thumb into her poop chute (be sure to get your thumb nice and gooey), then stick your brown thumb into her mouth, and slip it under her tongue so she can get the full robust taste of the Juanita "special" bean dip.
Juicy Lucy - Girls who can supposedly "squirt" when they cum.
K
Kennebunkport Surprise - The act of covertly filling your cheeks with chunky -style New England clam chowder, and screaming in disgust as you hurl it between your partners legs while eating her out.
Kick -Fucking - The act of receiving sexual pleasure from repeatedly getting kicked in the ass.
Kryo Queen - A cold fuck
L
Landshark - The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting out. (hint - She might want to wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading wrist guards to avoid serious injury.) Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff cocked, walks to the opposite end of the room, places his palms together and raises them above his head, (thus imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme to Jaws. When given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward the girl at full speed with his pelvis -out, fin protruding, and rams her dead square in the ass
Lorena Bobbit, The - Obviously, this one is for the ladies. When engaging in some hard core booty sex, squeeze your butt cheeks together as tight as you can, and start violently jumping and thrashing your ass around, in an effort to rip his dick off. (To reach true Lorena status, you must take the severed dick for a drive and then toss it out the window.)
Lace Curtains - Slang term for the foreskin of the penis
Lady's Best Friend - Slang term for a dildo or vibrator
Lakshmi - Tantric sex term for goddess of wealth and prosperity
Load - Slang term for semen.
Lot Lizard - Slang term for a prostitute who works in truck stops
Love Wand - Slang term for vibrator.
M
Maha - Tantric sex term for the almighty one.
Menthol, The - The act of getting head from a woman who just moments earlier ate a numerous amounts of cough drops, thus insuring a pleasurable, tingly feeling on your cock.
Mellon Dive - Headbutting a woman's big fat titties. Always lots of fun.
Mengeles - used to describe the dubiously trained and ethically challenged cosmetic surgeons who work on porn stars.
Millennium Domes - The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually fuck-all in there worth seeing.
Money Shot - The climax of a fuck scene in a porno movie.
Monkey Wrench - When some sadistic bitch takes your dick back between your legs and sucks you off.
Monroe Transfer - When you and your partner connect each other's assholes with a tube. One defecates through the tube, thus transferring the turds to the rectum of the other.
Moped, The - A chick that's a fun ride until your friends see you on it, if you know what I mean.
Mork, The - Made famous by Robin Williams on Mork & Mindy, stick your pinky and ring fingers up a girls ass, then jam your middle and index fingers up her cunt. (Please note - Not complete until you finish it off with a Nanoo -Nanoo!).
Moses - A man who enjoys going down on a woman during her period. Derived from the Biblical figure Moses, who parted the Red Sea.
Motorboat, The - While performing oral sex on a girl, flap your lips together on her clit, thus imitating the sound of a motorboat. She'll love you forever.
Mud Flaps - The meaty, hanging, larger than norm, pussy lips or labia minora.
Mumbler - An attractive girl in tight shorts or jeans, etc i.e. you can see the 'lips' moving but can't quite make out what they're saying.
Mung, The - Obtain a female that has been dead for 2-3 days (the time period since death is important). Then place your mouth just outside her vaginal opening. Have a friend jump on her stomach, and try to catch as much stuff that comes out as you can in your mouth.
Mushy Biscuit - This is actually a very fun game. Just choose a piece of food that you and your male friends like to eat. Then you and your buddies form a tight circle around the food item and proceed to jerk off all over it. Last one to bust a nut gets the prize of eating the food.
Muff Teaser - Finger, suck, eat, etc. a girl until she is begging for it. Then rub your stiffy round her golden valley until she screams at you to give her a banging. Right when her frustration is at its highest level, stop and finish with a DIY(do it yourself) handjob. Then leave the room without saying a word. Not to be tried if you want to shack up with the selfish bitch again.
Muff Diving - Oral stimulation of the clitoris or vulva
Midnight Cowboy - Slang term for a vibrator or dildo.
Mish - Short for Missionary position.
MILF - Abbreviation for "mother I'd like to fuck".
Mystery Bus - The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
Mystery Taxi - The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-pinter in your bed instead.
N
NBR (No Beers Required) - Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The opposite of a 10-pinter.
Nooner - 1. Sexual intercourse. 2. The vulva.
Nookie - Slang term for a sexual encounter during lunch hour.
New Jersey Meat -Hook - The unusual method of inserting one's finger in the ass of your partner while screwing her, and feeling her cervix. This procedure is most effective from behind.
New York Style Taco - Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down,
you boot on her box. Happy trails.
Nixon, The - A variation of the Bullwinkle in which you give two peace signs as your signal of dominance. May enhance the act by shaking jowls and yelling, "I'm not a crook". This is considered very bold and is frowned upon for those with a modicum of decorum.
Nubs - Slang term for breasts; also refers to the small bumps on a vibrator that provide extra vaginal or clitoral stimulation.
O
Open Swinging - a couple swinging with another couple in the same room; several or all participating couples together in the same room; (Western US) swing party where participants socially mix and are free to swing as couples, in one -to -one pairings and group sex during the progress of the party.
Oyster - A derivation of the tea bag which is accomplished by numbing one's testicles with ice and then inserting them in a chicks mouth and letting the tramp munch on them.
Outercourse - Sex play that does not include inserting the penis in the vagina or anus.
P
Pasadena Mudslide - This happens when you leave a windy shit between the breasts of a woman while you straddle her neck for a blowjob. (A close cousin to the Cleveland Steamer.).
Paint Brush - A wide racing stripe typ pubic hairstyle.
Parolee - A standard issue male pornstar, typically working for the compensation of cheeseburgers and gas money.
Pattycake - While you're nailing some girl doggie style and your friend is catching some head off the same girl, you get a quick game of pattycake going. This makes you reminisce of your childhood memories and eases the sight of watching your friend blow his load.
Paying The Rent - A position in which the woman is folded in half, knees above shoulders, while the man holds the back of her calves and bangs ferociously.
Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich - Shit on a woman's snatch during menstruation. Proceed to munch. Mmmm Mmmm Nasty! (Crunchy or smooth...depending on what you've been eating.)
Pearl Necklace - Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl - it
takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.
Penguin - When a girl starts giving a guy a blow job, and just as he is about to lose his load, she stops and walks away. The horny guy, with his pants at his ankles, waddles after her to see where she is going.
Philly Fakeout - When your doing a girl (or a guy ) from behind...doesn't matter which destination you choose, just as so long as its from behind. As your doin her and gettin close to erupting...you say holy shit i'm gonna bust the hugest load all over you and you start groaning like its Mount Vesuvius all over again. You pull your meat out and proceed to spit on her (once again, his for you homo's) back. She/he turns around real fast so she can see the face you make when you reach the moment, only to be shocked when she turns around and you spray it in her face.
Picasso Arse - A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.
Pig Roast - While you're plugging some girl's hole doggie style, (up the dirt road or the funhole, pick your poison) she's blowing your best friend's cock at the same time, hence simulating a pig on a spit. Very Similar to Chinese Finger Cuffs.
Pile Driver - Sexual position where the girl is on the floor, her torso raised in the air at a 90 degree angle to her face. She is looking up at the guy as he hovers over her, he is now able to have free access to her pussy and/or asshole.
Pink Glove - This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet
enough. When you pull out to give her money, the inside of her twat sticks
to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.
Pink Sock - This is performed by nailing your bitch doggystyle in her asshole and giving her a simultaneous vigerous blow to the sides of her kidneys thus pulling her colon out onto your dick.
Pirate's Treasure - While fucking your girl in the ass, you strike a hefty load of shit. After you've found this buried treasure deep in her booty, you scream, "Argh!", like a pirate.
Plating - Take a clear, glass plate and place it on your partners face, then shit on it. It gives them a nice view without all the messy cleanup. How come you don't see that on any Dawn commercials.
Play Action Fake - Doing a girl doggystyle and you pull your dick out and spit all over her back, when she thinks you've cum she turns around to look @ you. You then shoot your wad all in her face.
Plumper - An overweight girl
Poke - An act of sexual intercourse - I gave her a poke
Poontang - 1. Sexual intercourse with a woman.
2. Used as a disparaging term for a woman
Pork, porks, porking - To have sexual intercourse with
Portuguese - Tittie fucking when the parolee does the heavy lifting
Postage Slot - Pussy with no visible outer labia, like with Pam Anderson
Popcorn Trick - First, take your girlfriend to the cinemas, for a nice romantic date. Buy a tub of popcorn, wait until the lights dim, and carefully make a hole in the bottom on the tub. Then, inconspicuously insert your penis through the bottom of the tub into the popcorn and casually offer some to your bitch. When she digs in, she will find nice surprise. Who doesn't love buttered popcorn?
Puerto Rican Fog Bank - While 69ing with your partner, release a cloud of sphincter fog directly into her nostrils.
Punching Possums - A one night stand whose performance in the sack is "just
lays there"
Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you
withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave
a lasting impression similar to purple mushroom.
Push-out - After the man cums, she pushes it out of her pussy or mouth.
Q
Queef - A well known, but sometimes embarrassing occurrence. Queefing happens when air gets trapped in a girls vagina, and makes a soft hissing, or farting kind of a sound while that air is released.
Queening - Sitting on the side of a person's face as a form of bondage.
Quiff - A British term for male homosexual or effeminate male.
Quim - The Vagina.
R
Racing Stripe - A public hairstyle that starts at the top of the clitoral hood and ends at the extreme top limit of where the normal inverted triangle of pubic hair would end.
Rackjack - To steal a girl someone else was just hitting on.
Ragman's Coat - Untidy and unkempt pubic hair e.g. "That mumbler looks quite fit, but I bet she's got a kebab like a ragmans coat!"
Ram, The - You're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head
against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow
for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.
Ray-Bans - Put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head.
(Picture it: ass on forhead) It may be anatomically impossible, but it is
definitely worth a try.
Rim Job - Another name for tossing salad. Oral stimulation of the anus.
Focuses on the use of the tongue
Rear Admiral - When doing a chic from behind (while both partners standing),
make sure you don't let her grab on to
anything when she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside so
that you end up pushing her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or
table. It's almost as much fun to have her trip on her face on the floor.
You become an Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing
into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.
Red Wings - Another name for navigating the moose knuckle with your tongue while discovering the girl is on her rag. Be a real man and earn your red wings soldier.
Resuscitation - When a girl is asleep, carefully open her mouth so that she doesn't awake. Then, squat over her face and carefully place your shit hole on her lips. When the time is right, you let rip the biggest baddest fart ever known to man and see if it wakes her up. Great fun during those long sleepless nights.
Reverse Cowgirl - A sexual position where the girl mounts and rides cock, facing the man.
Roddy Piper, The - When getting your girl from behind, you toss the sleeper hold on her and knock her out ala Rowdy Roddy Piper. While nailing your unconscious victim, you get to simulate your life long dream of necrophilia. Now you never have to break into the morgue again.
Rodeo, The - Similar to the Bronco. You start once again, banging a chick from behind. At a pre -arranged time you grab her hair with one hand just as several buddies bust into the room. See if you can hang on for 8 seconds cowboy. Yee Haw.
Roman War Helmet - Place you nutsack on a girls forehead and your shaft across her nose resembling a roman war helmet .
Rose Creeper - Seductively brush a beautiful long stem red rose against your sweetheart's neck, breasts, and inner thigh. Slowly rub the rose along her smooth skin as you tenderly kiss her entire body. After working her into the mood for some deep love making, unzip your fly and pull out your raging boner. Begin to punish -fuck her dumper while whipping her with the rose and screaming nasty obscenities at her. I bet she never saw that coming.
Rusty Trombone - Have her jerk you off while licking your asshole. Looks
like she is playing the trombone.
S
Sandbag - Under an assumed name in a tropical region, you meet a young hottie and engage in the well known cliche of sex on the beach. Just before insertion, remove the rubber (without getting caught of course), and proceed to bang away until you blow your load, without pulling out. As you dismount and prepare for departure, grab a handful of sand, throw it in her eyes, and run away laughing hysterically while leaving her blinded, butt -necked, and knocked up. Especially lots of fun when accomplished during the spring break season.
Sandwich - Any sex act involving three people; a threesome
Screwnicorn - When a dyke puts her strap -on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.
Seatbelt - While one fag straddles his partners cock, he receives a blowjob from the fruitcake on the bottom.
Shirley Temple - Pour a can of 7 -Up on a girl's menstruating pussy and eat her out.
Shag - sexual intercourse (to have sex)
Shocker, The - When you insert your index and middle fingers in the woman's vagina and pinky in her anus. After giving her a few good minutes of double duty finger banging, pull your fingers out and give your index and middle finger a quick sniff and pinky a good sucking, all in one smooth motion.(a.k.a. Smoking the Pinky.) .
Shop Vac - When a dirty, talented tramp stuffs you're entire package (balls and all) into her mouth, and blows you with amazing suction power.
Shrimping - The term for licking or sucking your partner's toes.
Sixty-eighter (68er)- "Do me and I'll owe 'ya one". A lesbian scene where one girl will go down on the other, but the other girl will only fingerfuck or toyfuck the first girl.
Skiing - While facing in the same direction, a girl gets between two guys and jerks them both off, thus imitating some hardcore cross -country action.
SKIN-CHIMNEY - see BADLY PACKED KEBAB
Slumpbuster - When a professional athlete finds the dirtiest, nastiest, fattest, most disease -ridden skank and puts the wood to her with the intent that it will break up a slump.
Snerd Nurgling - The act of moving your anal lovers turds about within his/her lower intestine with your dick. Really popular with the lavender boys, hence the expression, "Oh Lance, Nergle me you Snerd"...
Snoodling - When an uncircumcised homo pulls his extra foreskin over the cock of another homo and proceeds to jerk him off. Those gays have way too much free time. Can be used at as a great derogatory term as in, "You Snoodler!"
Snowball - Always a blast. When doing a girl while she's on all fours,
sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.
Snuff, The - Lovingly fuck the shit out of your virgin or ragging girlfriend and wipe your bloody member across her face. Take a couple Polaroids, show them to your friends, and brag that you're a snuff film superstar.
Spider-Webbing - when you fuck your girlfriend in the ass and cum in it, then she farts, sending all the cum out in a spider-web like fashion.
Sperm Wail or Spuphemism - A verbal outburst during the male orgasm.
Starfish Trooper or Arsetronaut - A homosexual
Stingy Nut - When a chick isn't worth fucking; pull down her pants, bend her over, and jerk off all over her ass.
Stranger, The - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking
off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else
Stranger on the Rocks - Numbing your hand by sticking it in a bucket of ice and then jerking off. Spanken not stirred.
Strangers In The Night - When you and your gay buddy each numb your hand (you should know how by now) and spank each other off. Thus eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else, from someone else.
Sud N' Fud - When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old story, "I not that kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the first date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead.
Surfing - This happens when you nail a fat woman. As you watch the rippling effect of her rolls with every thrust, along with the feeling of being drenched, off balance, out of control, and in danger, you are given the sense of riding the ultimate wave.
Swamp-Donkey - A deeply unattractive woman
Swimmer's Ear - When a girl is giving you a good sucking and right before you erupt, you remove yourself from her mouth, place your purple head in her ear, and fill her ear with some sweet love seed. Hopefully, you will give her an infection.
Switch Hitter - A Bi -Sexual.
T
Taffy Pulling - A euphemism for male masturbation.
Tain't - tain't ass and tain't pussy. The demilitarized zone of flesh between these two areas.
Teabagging - When the female orally pleasures the male partner's balls while
he squats over her.
Tears of Joy - Your joy, her tears, when she swallows that rod so far back it makes her weep.
Ten-Pinter - Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.
Three-Eyed Turtle - Basically plug every orifice of a girl in the following manner: thumb in ass, fingers in pussy, and dick in mouth.
Titanic - A lady who goes down the first time out.
Todger Dodger - A lesbian.
Toolbox - The Male Genitals.
Tortoise, The - When you eat out someone who doesn't have pubic hair yet - i.e. you got there before the hair (hare) did.
Tossing Salad - Oral sex with the anus.
Treasure Trail - The fine line from the top of the clitoral hood to the belly button. It may or not be a line of hair. Especially common in pregnant women and blck women.
Tropical Wind - When getting your asshole eaten out by a worthless tramp, you break wind.
Tuna Melt - You're down on a chick lapping away and discover that it just
happens to be the time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When
the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.
Twisted Sister - Have your dominatrix girlfriend dress up in some hot black leather gimp wear and proceed to handcuff your hands behind your back and then force you to your knees. Unsuspecting, diminutive, and cradled over with your ass is in the air, she then gives you the most erotic enema of your life. Now that's some great S&M fun.
Two-Bagger or Double Bagger - Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with (one to cover their head, and one to cover yours, just incase their bag falls off).
U
Urolagnia - Sexual pleasure from watching another drink urine.
Utopian Swinger - A person who practices swinging as a total lifestyle with humanistic ideals.
Up On The Blocks - Menstruating i.e. Out of action, a bit like a car in a garage. e.g. "I don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on the blocks".
V
Vagina Decliner - A homosexual (male)
Vart (same as Queef) - To expel air from the vagina, such as the often loud
and embarrassing sound of air flapping out of a women during or after sexual
intercourse.
Vegetarian Hot Lunch - A variation of the Hot Lunch in which the diner stretches a piece of saran wrap over her mouth such that chewing (for texture) is possible, but no actual contact with waste product occurs.
Veggie Porn - All Lesbians. No meat
W
Wake Up Call - Waking up in the middle of the night with the hard on of your life. You then turn to your fast asleep partner and dry fuck her ass into oblivion. The clincher to performing a wake up call is to act like nothing of the sort happened in the morning. E.g. "Sweetheart, what's that on your back?".
WANK SÉANCE - During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that you're being watched with disgust by your dead relatives.
Walrus, The - After spunking in a girl's mouth, you pinch the center of her two lips together and hold her nose. This will force the cum to dribble out of the sides of her mouth, thus the teeth of the walrus.
Western Grip - When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use, hence, western.
Westside Glaze - Same as the eastside glaze, but the majority of your jizz lands on the left side of her face.
Woody Woodpecker - When a girl is sucking on your balls, tap your cock on her forehead.
Wanker - Slang term for someone who masturbates frequently.
Water Sports - Sex play which involves urine or enemas.
Wet Dreams - Erotic imaging during sleep that causes ejaculation.
X
X -dresser - Short for cross dresser.
Xeronisus - Inability to reach orgasm.
Y
Yoni Worship - Worship of the female genitals.
Yellow Shower - The act of urinating on a person as a means of sexual stimulation; a golden shower.
Z
Zombie Mask - While getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting, trash -barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good week's worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.
A
AC/DC - Bisexual.
Acorn - The head of the penis.
Alaskan Fire Dragon - Get the chick on her knees for a BJ. Right after you
blow your load, clamp her mouth shut, and whisper in her ear, "I've got
syphillis." The spooge should shoot out her nose in record time.
Angel - Male who pays for sexual acts.
Angry Dragon - Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.
Auntie - An aging male homosexual.
Animal play - When one or both partners pretend to be an animal (Ex - dog, horse) in a role play.
Areola - The dark red or light brown ring of skin surrounding the nipple.
Auto -Eroticism - Masturbation
Auto -Felatio - Performing fellatio (oral sex) on one`s own penis
Arabian Goggles - A "seldom-seen" maneuver when you put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but what the fuck else is new
Aeroplane Blonde - One who has bleached / dyed her hair but still has a 'black box.
Around the World - The act of kissing the entire body as a prelude to sex.
Aussie Kiss - similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
Auxiliary Intercoure - Sexual climax achieved by moving the erect penis back and forth in the armpit
Azozoospermia - Semen containing no sperm, either because the testicles cannot make sperm or because of blockage in the reproductive tract.
B
Back Door - A euphemism for the anus.
Badly Packed Kebab - A vulgar (but still excellent) term for the female genitalia
Butch - A lesbian who prefers traditionally masculine dress, style, expression, or identity.
Bag - The scrotum.
Bang, banged, banging, bangs - To have sexual intercourse with.
Ball - To have intercourse.
Ballsacking - Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you're able to do it, always great fun. While you are straddling her, take your nutsack and spread it out over her face like pizza dough.
Balloon Knot - When you bend over and I can see up right up the wazoo.
That's a balloon knot that you see.
Bag it - wearing a condom during intercourse.
Back Yard - The buttocks.
Back Scuttle - Perform anal intercourse.
Bait N' Tackle - The sailors used this one in the old Navy days. Before you go off for a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a tall jar and fill it completely with earthworms. When you get lonely, open the jar and fuck away. The earthworms will provide some slithery stimulation, and your protein load will keep them nicely fed. Gone fishing!
Barely Legal - Girls who have reached the age of 18, or look like they've just turned 18, newbies to porn.
Barebacking - unprotected sex.
Beaver Leaver - A homosexual (male)
Bimbot - A pornslut who is as cold and unfeeling during sex as her plastic boobs, lips, cheeks, etc.
Bismarck - During oral sex, right before you are about to cum, you pull out,
shooting your load all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear the
blood and cum together.
Beer Dick - This is what most guys get after a good night of drinking. They tend to fuck anything with a pussy while experiencing beer dick
Blue Balls - Severe need to experience sexual orgasm.
Blowjob - The act or an instance of fellatio.
Brownie Queen - Passive partner in anal intercourse.
Bear Claw - A synonym for extremely large pussy lips.
Bronco, The - You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.
Brown Bagging It - Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like there's no tomorrow but a face like a mangy dog. Don't let that body go to waste and let her hideousness stop you from fucking her though. Just draw the smiley face on a brown paper bag, place it over her head, and fuck away while keeping your composure and piece of mind.
Butter Face - When you see a chick with an awesome body, "but her face", is nasty.
Bukkake - Showering a person with sperm from one or many men. In ancient Japan, there is a legend that unfaithful women were publicly humiliated in the town center by being tied up while every man in town ejaculated all over her to show their distaste.
Butt Plug - A dildo specially designed for insertion into the anus. Usually has a flared base to prevent it from going in too far.
Bull Dagger - an extremely masculine lesbian. The term is often used negatively.
Betty - Slang term for an attractive female.
Blumpkin - Term meaning to receive oral sex while defecating.
Blumpy - You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.
BOBFOC - Body Of Baywatch, Face Of Crimewatch.
Bone Of Contention - A hard-on that causes an argument, e.g. one that arises when a man is watching Olympic beach volleyball on TV with his girlfriend.
Booty Call - Slang term for a late -night or last minute phone call with the intention of attaining sex.
Boink/Bonk - To have intercourse with.
Boiler Suit - The prosecution charge that you did wilfully, and with phallus aforethought, score with a BOBFOC last night. This charge is usually brought by a kangaroo court of your friends in the pub on Saturday night.
Boff, boffed boffing, boffs - To have sexual intercourse with. v. intr. To engage in sexual intercourse .
Brown Eye - The chocolate coloration of various shades found around many female's assholes. It assumed that a girl possessing such will always do anal sex.
Brown Necktie - You're about halfway through ass-wrecking a chick, and instead of filling up her keister with your demonseed, you pull out and proceed to tittie fuck her, leaving a brown streak between the funbags.
Brownie Queen - Passive partner in anal intercourse.
Bruce Lee - Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).
Brunski - When a man puts his face between a woman's breasts and quickly moves his head back and forth while saying "Brunski" in a very drawn out and exaggerated manner. (There are many other variant names.)
Bonk - Have sexual intercourse with.
Bugger - to perform anal sex, often referring to sex with animals.
Bullwinkle - The sign given to a friend in hiding while doggie styling' some chick. It is performed by placing both hands over the head, with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting "Hey Rocky." (Make sure to use appropriate Bullwinkle voice tone.)
Bunny Boiler - A partner in a relationship that acts irrationally and with
impulsive, extreme, behavior. The term originated from the Glen Close
character in the movie Fatal Attraction
Butter Face - When you see a chick with an awesome body, "but her face", is nasty.
C
Cherry - One who is still a virgin.
Closet Queen - A male homosexual who hides his desires for men.
Cleveland Steamer - The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the mammaries.
Canine Special - Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick and call over the family dog. Lick Ubu lick. Good Dog. Arf!
Carpet Cleaner - While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her face first across the carpet. Not recommended with large women.
Carpet Munching - Performing cunnilingus.
Chicken Choker - A person who masturbates
Chicken Cutlet - While banging a bitch on the beach, pull out your cock roll it around in some sand and stick it back in.
Chili Dog - You take a shit on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty
fuck her.
Chocolate Chips/Chocolate Syrup- The guy pulls out of her ass...what's that brown stuff?
Chocolate Pizza - Happily discovering hemorrhoids while eating a shitty brown eye.
Cockblock - To interfere with a man's attempts to seduce a woman.
Cock-Stuffing - Apparently somewhat on the fringe in gay circles, but involves using thin, cylindrical items (thermometers, wire, rubber worms, etc.), and inserting them into the dick hole. Over many months, continue to gradually ream out the hole-at-the-head with larger items, thus ultimately allowing your "buddy" to obtain the goal of fucking your urethra. Wow!
Cold Lunch - The act of vomiting directly onto some chick's head while she's performing fellatio.
Compton Gangbang - You meet a young lady at the bar. She tells you she has a boyfriend, but she ends up going home with you anyway for a one-night stand. When you take her to your place, tell your friends to wait outside your bedroom door. Just when she's about to get off, your friends barge in the room and plainly beat the shit out of her. That should teach her not to fuck around. (Ladies, feel free to perform a Compton Gangbang on guys too. I know you've got some fat girlfriends to help you out.)
Concoction - First, ejaculate all over the floor. Next, have your psycho bitch girlfriend menstruate on your semen. Stir it with your finger until you get a nice thick pink mixture. Proceed to paint yourselves up silly, just as if you were in kindergarten again.
Cop's Delight - The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and spewing all over her "pastry buns", thus transforming her rump into the allusion of an oversized, quivering glazed donut.
Corkscrew - Cross your fingers, middle over index. Twist your wrist back and forth and go to work on your desired orifice. With practice, you'll have the effectiveness of a dill press and within weeks you'll be able to bore through wood.
Corn - Originating from the fine campus of Cornell University comes this unique, rarely used term. Saying that a girl is "Corn" means, she is so fucking hot, so beautiful, so utterly drop-dead gorgeous, that you would happily eat the corn out of her shit. Can be used as a great pick-up line or friendly compliment, for instance; "Baby, you're more Corn than Green Giant", or "Damn bitch, you are Corn!"
Couch Bombing - When you fill a small ziploc sandwich bag with Crisco (or your favorite lubrication) and place it between the cushions on the couch. You then proceed to fuck the couch as if it were a woman...but no need to buy It dinner first .
Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.
Cleveland Steamer - The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the mammaries.
Circle Jerk - Where several men get together and masturbate together, doesn`t have to be homosexual
Closet Queena - A male homosexual who hides his desires for other men
Clown Face - An aging slut who wears a pound of makeup to hide her numerous wrinkles since the facelifts aren't taking.
Cluster Fuck - Group sex. Many female holes stuffed to bursting with dildo and vibrator type toys.
Cockteaser - Usually a female who excites a male without carrying on to actual sexual relations
Cowgirl - Refers to the sexual position of a woman sitting upon a reclining man
Cornhole - Slang for the anus, also refers to anal sex
Cream - To ejaculate -I creamed on her tits
Creepin' - To cheat on boy/girlfriend or spouse
Cum Dumpster - A quadriplegic whore.
Cumshake - Porn movie equivalent of a milk shake. Often served in champagne glass.
D
Daisy Chain - Partner (A) is sucking off or eating out partner (B) who is sucking off or eating out partner (C) and so on until the final person is sucking off or eating out partner (A). Partners can be gay, lesbian or straight.
Day-Old Doughnut - Eating out your girlfriend the morning after the
night she went out and fucked someone else
David Copperfield, The (a.ka. The Houdini) - Drill her from behind. Before
you shoot your wad, fake it and spit on her back. When she turns around to
give you that loving smile and hug, cum in her face. So, it's kind of like
an illusion.a sleight of hand...misdirection
Davey Crockett - A sexual maneuver in which you slip muscle relaxants into your gal's snizzpod, then slide your head in, thus wearing your partner's now-relaxed snatch-fur as a coonskin cap. Can come in handy on those cold winter nights.
Dark Meat - Black penis
Dirty Sanchez - A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez
Dirty Swirly - While boning a chick doggie style near a toilet (preferably one filled with a healthy load of shit, or some hot piss, or both), stick her head in the toilet and flush...she'll dig it.
Diddle - To have intercourse with (a woman). 2. To practice masturbation upon
Dogging - Having or observing exhibitionist sex in a public place, usually outdoors. Sometimes the voyeurs join in on the sex, usually they just watch from nearby.
Dog In A Bathtub - This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your
nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as
keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath
Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass, and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate.
Double Bass - A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's Tongue with the other. The position is similar to that used when playing the double bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.
Duff - Designated Ugly Fat Friend. Two hot chicks at a bar will have a really nasty fat ugly bitch hanging out with them, refered to as a "DUFF".
The Dunkin' Delight - When your girl fills her mouth with a cold glass of milk,then sit on her face and dunk your balls in and out of her mouth.
Duct Tape Trick - Wrapping a hamster in duct tape so you can safely fuck it without the danger of a messy split.
Dutch Oven - Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if you're into that sort of thing).
Dutch Treat - The unexpected result of a Dutch Oven gone terribly awry. Can be very messy.
DVDA - The abbreviation for "double -anal, double -vaginal". This is the term used when a girl takes four cocks in two holes. A hard core porn industry norm.
Dental Dam - One type of moisture barrier. People can use one during oral sex to stop STDs, including HIV. It is a square piece of latex that can be put over someone`s anus or vagina. (This way germs cannot get into someone`s mouth from blood or sexual fluids found in the anus or vagina or else into the vagina or anus from blood found in the mouth.) Dentists use it when they work on someone`s mouth so that blood won`t splash everywhere
Double Bagging - Wearing two condoms at once. This in not normally recommended as added friction can cause a higher instance of failure.
E
Erotophobia - Fear or anxiety of sexuality or the expression of sexual love.
Etch-A-Sketch - Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both her nipples simultaneously.
F
Flap Jacks - Small, saggy breasts looking like soggy pancakes or crushed nerf footballs.
Flatties - The diminutive yet perky breasts of young'un porn babes. Degoratory version of flatties is "mosquito bites".
Flogging On - Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites.
Flooding The Cave - Inserting the penis into a woman's pussy and then urinating inside her. Applies to butt pirates as well.
Flying Camel, The - As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her
from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to
prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long,
shrieking howl, much like a coyote.
Flagellation - Sexual
Femoral Coitus - Penis -thigh sex.
Felch - To lick or suck recently deposited semen from a rectum or vagina.
Formicophilia - Enjoyment of the use of insects for sexual purposes.
Fountain of You - While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass,
jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before
releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits.
(Better in her bed).
Fricatrice - A whore.
Figging - Anal play using ginger root (or even a chile pepper). The burning sensation is said to induce intense pleasure.
Fisted, fisting - To insert the fist into the rectum or vagina of (another) as a means of sexual stimulation.
Finger - To digitally stimulate the vulva.
Finger -fuck - To masturbate by means of inserting one's finger(s) into the vestibule of the vagina.
Fire Island - This consists of telling someone you're going to spunk on their face while they are asleep, only half-jokingly, and then when they don't believe you, doing it just to prove that you're that demented.
Fish Eye, The - From behind, you shove your finger in her ass (or his if you
are in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to
see what the hell you are doing
Fishhook - A variation of the shocker in which you pull back towards the
pussy after you stick your finger up her anus
Flaming Amazon - This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When your screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, you pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then...extinguish the flames with your jizz!
Flooding The Cave - Inserting the penis into a woman's pussy and then urinating inside her. Applies to butt pirates as well.
Flying Camel - A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a class move.
Flying Dutchman - This didn't used to be a specific deviant sexual act, it was just a phrase that sounded dirty and would be shouted out during intercourse on occasion simply for the novelty factor. However, its popularity increased and it has now developed into a specific act, namely that of, just as you are about to blow a load, in any sort of sexual situation (even masturbation for those true pioneers who are constantly on the cutting edge of the sexual revolution) you begin to shout, "Here comes the Flying Dutchman!" This should confuse your sexual partner (or whoever is in hearing range) completely, sometimes causing interesting side effects.
Fountain Of You - While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before you release and spew like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed)
Frigmarole - Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.
Frotteur - A person aroused by brushing up against clothed people in public.
Family Jewels - The testicles.
Freak Show Porn - Something so totally outrageous, it's not even about sexuality any more. 1000 man gang bangs, anal cum slurping, severed limb
porno, etc.
Free The Tadpoles - Liberate the residents of the Wank Tanks.
French - To perform oral sex on
French tickler - A condom with ridges, bumps, or something else designed to give women extra stimulation during intercourse. Not reported to work above and beyond what the man is otherwise capable of..
Frottage - When two people rub their bodies together so that they feel good for some type of sexual pleasure. Another phrase for it is dry -humping.
Full House - Having more than one venereal disease at the same time.
FUPA - The upper half of the pubic area on an obese individual. This area can be found just below or behind the last hanging roll of fat on the belly.
FUPA Chalupa - When an extremely obese lady has a fatty flap that hangs over the pussy.
Fur Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane
between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's Afro, when a mammoth fur ball
gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her.
G
Gangbang - 1. Sexual intercourse, often rape, involving one person or victim and several others who have relations with that person in rapid succession.
2. Sexual intercourse involving several people who select and change partners in an indiscriminate manner
Gape - A dilated asshole.
Gaylord Perry - Going to only one knuckle during an anal probe is for wimps.
Make this famous knuckle ball pitcher proud and use multiple
knuckles on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of two knuckles required
(either on one finger or on multiple).
Gender Outlaw - a person who flouts the usual gender roles.
Genderfuck - sending mixed gender messages, especially through appearance, such as wearing a prom dress, combat boots and a mustache.
Get Your Rocks Off - Slang term for orgasm.
Glass Bottom Boat - Putting saran wrap over your partners face and
proceeding to lay a hot shit there.
Glory Hole - Slang term for a hole, usually in a wall, in which a man inserts his penis that is stimulated manually or orally by someone on the other side.
Gobstopper- With two hands, spread your tramp's anus open, then spit a big-ass loogie down the asshole then close it back up. You can give her a smack on the ass when you're done, if you want.
Golden Shower (a.k.a.- watersports) - Any form of pissing all over a chick.
Greek - The act of using your "glue stick" (if you know what I'm saying) and gluing your gal's eyes closed with your man seed. E.g. "Hey guys, check it out, I just greeked her!" or "Sorry honey, but you asked for the Greek salad
Greek Sex - Slang term for anal sex.
Greyhound - A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
Gynotikolobomassophilia - A paraphilia where a person derives becomes extremely aroused by a woman's earlobe.
Gerbiling - The activity of Urban Legend status regarding the insertion of a gerbil or similarly -sized rodent into the anus.
Gunt - This is the area that bulges out on obese women. It's located between the genital area and the waist. When its not a gut or a cunt...its called a GUNT.
Guppy Mouth - Position where the girl is typically on her knees, her head
cocked upwards, her mouth open, many times eyes closed, waiting for the guy
to jack-off on her face, mouth or wherever.
H
Handmade - A large penis allegedly developed through masterbation.
Hand-To-Gland Combat - A vigorous masturbation session.
Head - Oral sex - Give me some head.
Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, you proceed to shit on her
chest.
Hot Pants - Sexually aroused.
Ham And Cheese Sandwich - Eating a woman's box after you ejaculate all over it. A delightful, tasty combination of her yummy meat curtains with your added cheesy topping is sure to appeal to anyone's appetite.
Hershey Highway - When plugging your girl in the ass, you run into some hot diarrhea. Don't hurt her feelings by getting grossed out though, just pretend it's extra lube.
High Dive - The skill of pulling your Johnson all the way out of your partner's hole and in one motion jamming it home again. Best suited for use in the corn hole, but can be very dangerous.
Hindenburg, The - When some slut who is so bad at oral sex, you're forced to cry "Oh! The humanity!" as her teeth scrape your man tool.
Hiudini - While banging your bitch doggystyle build up until your about to cum then pull out and spit on her back, when she turns around let her have it in the face.
Hogging - While intoxicated, high, or just plain desperate, you go searching for the fattest bitch you can find and proceed to ride her like a Harley. Best accomplished with large groups friends.
Hole In One - The act of sticking your dick in your own ass. Just try not to get a huge boner once it's in, or you'll get a nice snapparoo.
Hood Ornament - piercing attached to the clitorial hood
Hotdog In A Hallway - When laying the pipe, you realize your dick isn't even touching the walls of her vagina, kind of like tossing a hotdog in a hallway. Most frequently happens when banging the neighborhood trick or if you're slinging a small dick.
Hot Karl - The act in which a woman sucks the cock of the same man who moments earlier was balls deep in her can.
Hot Karl Candy Cane - A variation of the above in which the man who is receiving the oral cock cleaning gives the woman a reach around.
Hot Karl Candy Cane - A variation of the above in which the man who is receiving the oral cock cleaning gives the woman a reach around.
Hot Lunch - The result of defecating a tube of shit directly into a girl's mouth.
Humjob (hummer) - Oral sex
Hunter Gatherer - You and your partner defecate while 69ing. Pretty much self-explanatory.
I
Indian Cock Burn - While a chick sucks you off, she twists her hand around your shaft as if she was trying to give you an Indian burn.
Icolagnia - Sexual arousal by looking at pictures.
In Door Sports - Swinging activities in general.
J
Jail Bait - One who is under 18 years of age.
Jedi Mind Trick - When banging your partner, you repeatedly shout "I'm NOT fucking you, I'm NOT fucking you".
Jelly Dougnut - A derivation of the Bismark. All you have to do is punch her
in the nose while you are getting head.
Jersey Turnpike - The act of sticking your finger in a girls ass and then
putting that finger in her mouth. If you later find yourself picking your
nose with that finger, that's called getting off at the Newark exit
Jocker - A male homosexual.
Joy Juice - Slang term for the natural vaginal lubrication produced by a sexually aroused female.
Juanita Special Bean Dip - While your tramp rides you like a mechanical bull, insert your thumb into her poop chute (be sure to get your thumb nice and gooey), then stick your brown thumb into her mouth, and slip it under her tongue so she can get the full robust taste of the Juanita "special" bean dip.
Juicy Lucy - Girls who can supposedly "squirt" when they cum.
K
Kennebunkport Surprise - The act of covertly filling your cheeks with chunky -style New England clam chowder, and screaming in disgust as you hurl it between your partners legs while eating her out.
Kick -Fucking - The act of receiving sexual pleasure from repeatedly getting kicked in the ass.
Kryo Queen - A cold fuck
L
Landshark - The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting out. (hint - She might want to wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading wrist guards to avoid serious injury.) Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff cocked, walks to the opposite end of the room, places his palms together and raises them above his head, (thus imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme to Jaws. When given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward the girl at full speed with his pelvis -out, fin protruding, and rams her dead square in the ass
Lorena Bobbit, The - Obviously, this one is for the ladies. When engaging in some hard core booty sex, squeeze your butt cheeks together as tight as you can, and start violently jumping and thrashing your ass around, in an effort to rip his dick off. (To reach true Lorena status, you must take the severed dick for a drive and then toss it out the window.)
Lace Curtains - Slang term for the foreskin of the penis
Lady's Best Friend - Slang term for a dildo or vibrator
Lakshmi - Tantric sex term for goddess of wealth and prosperity
Load - Slang term for semen.
Lot Lizard - Slang term for a prostitute who works in truck stops
Love Wand - Slang term for vibrator.
M
Maha - Tantric sex term for the almighty one.
Menthol, The - The act of getting head from a woman who just moments earlier ate a numerous amounts of cough drops, thus insuring a pleasurable, tingly feeling on your cock.
Mellon Dive - Headbutting a woman's big fat titties. Always lots of fun.
Mengeles - used to describe the dubiously trained and ethically challenged cosmetic surgeons who work on porn stars.
Millennium Domes - The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually fuck-all in there worth seeing.
Money Shot - The climax of a fuck scene in a porno movie.
Monkey Wrench - When some sadistic bitch takes your dick back between your legs and sucks you off.
Monroe Transfer - When you and your partner connect each other's assholes with a tube. One defecates through the tube, thus transferring the turds to the rectum of the other.
Moped, The - A chick that's a fun ride until your friends see you on it, if you know what I mean.
Mork, The - Made famous by Robin Williams on Mork & Mindy, stick your pinky and ring fingers up a girls ass, then jam your middle and index fingers up her cunt. (Please note - Not complete until you finish it off with a Nanoo -Nanoo!).
Moses - A man who enjoys going down on a woman during her period. Derived from the Biblical figure Moses, who parted the Red Sea.
Motorboat, The - While performing oral sex on a girl, flap your lips together on her clit, thus imitating the sound of a motorboat. She'll love you forever.
Mud Flaps - The meaty, hanging, larger than norm, pussy lips or labia minora.
Mumbler - An attractive girl in tight shorts or jeans, etc i.e. you can see the 'lips' moving but can't quite make out what they're saying.
Mung, The - Obtain a female that has been dead for 2-3 days (the time period since death is important). Then place your mouth just outside her vaginal opening. Have a friend jump on her stomach, and try to catch as much stuff that comes out as you can in your mouth.
Mushy Biscuit - This is actually a very fun game. Just choose a piece of food that you and your male friends like to eat. Then you and your buddies form a tight circle around the food item and proceed to jerk off all over it. Last one to bust a nut gets the prize of eating the food.
Muff Teaser - Finger, suck, eat, etc. a girl until she is begging for it. Then rub your stiffy round her golden valley until she screams at you to give her a banging. Right when her frustration is at its highest level, stop and finish with a DIY(do it yourself) handjob. Then leave the room without saying a word. Not to be tried if you want to shack up with the selfish bitch again.
Muff Diving - Oral stimulation of the clitoris or vulva
Midnight Cowboy - Slang term for a vibrator or dildo.
Mish - Short for Missionary position.
MILF - Abbreviation for "mother I'd like to fuck".
Mystery Bus - The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
Mystery Taxi - The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-pinter in your bed instead.
N
NBR (No Beers Required) - Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The opposite of a 10-pinter.
Nooner - 1. Sexual intercourse. 2. The vulva.
Nookie - Slang term for a sexual encounter during lunch hour.
New Jersey Meat -Hook - The unusual method of inserting one's finger in the ass of your partner while screwing her, and feeling her cervix. This procedure is most effective from behind.
New York Style Taco - Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down,
you boot on her box. Happy trails.
Nixon, The - A variation of the Bullwinkle in which you give two peace signs as your signal of dominance. May enhance the act by shaking jowls and yelling, "I'm not a crook". This is considered very bold and is frowned upon for those with a modicum of decorum.
Nubs - Slang term for breasts; also refers to the small bumps on a vibrator that provide extra vaginal or clitoral stimulation.
O
Open Swinging - a couple swinging with another couple in the same room; several or all participating couples together in the same room; (Western US) swing party where participants socially mix and are free to swing as couples, in one -to -one pairings and group sex during the progress of the party.
Oyster - A derivation of the tea bag which is accomplished by numbing one's testicles with ice and then inserting them in a chicks mouth and letting the tramp munch on them.
Outercourse - Sex play that does not include inserting the penis in the vagina or anus.
P
Pasadena Mudslide - This happens when you leave a windy shit between the breasts of a woman while you straddle her neck for a blowjob. (A close cousin to the Cleveland Steamer.).
Paint Brush - A wide racing stripe typ pubic hairstyle.
Parolee - A standard issue male pornstar, typically working for the compensation of cheeseburgers and gas money.
Pattycake - While you're nailing some girl doggie style and your friend is catching some head off the same girl, you get a quick game of pattycake going. This makes you reminisce of your childhood memories and eases the sight of watching your friend blow his load.
Paying The Rent - A position in which the woman is folded in half, knees above shoulders, while the man holds the back of her calves and bangs ferociously.
Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich - Shit on a woman's snatch during menstruation. Proceed to munch. Mmmm Mmmm Nasty! (Crunchy or smooth...depending on what you've been eating.)
Pearl Necklace - Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl - it
takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.
Penguin - When a girl starts giving a guy a blow job, and just as he is about to lose his load, she stops and walks away. The horny guy, with his pants at his ankles, waddles after her to see where she is going.
Philly Fakeout - When your doing a girl (or a guy ) from behind...doesn't matter which destination you choose, just as so long as its from behind. As your doin her and gettin close to erupting...you say holy shit i'm gonna bust the hugest load all over you and you start groaning like its Mount Vesuvius all over again. You pull your meat out and proceed to spit on her (once again, his for you homo's) back. She/he turns around real fast so she can see the face you make when you reach the moment, only to be shocked when she turns around and you spray it in her face.
Picasso Arse - A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.
Pig Roast - While you're plugging some girl's hole doggie style, (up the dirt road or the funhole, pick your poison) she's blowing your best friend's cock at the same time, hence simulating a pig on a spit. Very Similar to Chinese Finger Cuffs.
Pile Driver - Sexual position where the girl is on the floor, her torso raised in the air at a 90 degree angle to her face. She is looking up at the guy as he hovers over her, he is now able to have free access to her pussy and/or asshole.
Pink Glove - This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet
enough. When you pull out to give her money, the inside of her twat sticks
to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.
Pink Sock - This is performed by nailing your bitch doggystyle in her asshole and giving her a simultaneous vigerous blow to the sides of her kidneys thus pulling her colon out onto your dick.
Pirate's Treasure - While fucking your girl in the ass, you strike a hefty load of shit. After you've found this buried treasure deep in her booty, you scream, "Argh!", like a pirate.
Plating - Take a clear, glass plate and place it on your partners face, then shit on it. It gives them a nice view without all the messy cleanup. How come you don't see that on any Dawn commercials.
Play Action Fake - Doing a girl doggystyle and you pull your dick out and spit all over her back, when she thinks you've cum she turns around to look @ you. You then shoot your wad all in her face.
Plumper - An overweight girl
Poke - An act of sexual intercourse - I gave her a poke
Poontang - 1. Sexual intercourse with a woman.
2. Used as a disparaging term for a woman
Pork, porks, porking - To have sexual intercourse with
Portuguese - Tittie fucking when the parolee does the heavy lifting
Postage Slot - Pussy with no visible outer labia, like with Pam Anderson
Popcorn Trick - First, take your girlfriend to the cinemas, for a nice romantic date. Buy a tub of popcorn, wait until the lights dim, and carefully make a hole in the bottom on the tub. Then, inconspicuously insert your penis through the bottom of the tub into the popcorn and casually offer some to your bitch. When she digs in, she will find nice surprise. Who doesn't love buttered popcorn?
Puerto Rican Fog Bank - While 69ing with your partner, release a cloud of sphincter fog directly into her nostrils.
Punching Possums - A one night stand whose performance in the sack is "just
lays there"
Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you
withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave
a lasting impression similar to purple mushroom.
Push-out - After the man cums, she pushes it out of her pussy or mouth.
Q
Queef - A well known, but sometimes embarrassing occurrence. Queefing happens when air gets trapped in a girls vagina, and makes a soft hissing, or farting kind of a sound while that air is released.
Queening - Sitting on the side of a person's face as a form of bondage.
Quiff - A British term for male homosexual or effeminate male.
Quim - The Vagina.
R
Racing Stripe - A public hairstyle that starts at the top of the clitoral hood and ends at the extreme top limit of where the normal inverted triangle of pubic hair would end.
Rackjack - To steal a girl someone else was just hitting on.
Ragman's Coat - Untidy and unkempt pubic hair e.g. "That mumbler looks quite fit, but I bet she's got a kebab like a ragmans coat!"
Ram, The - You're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head
against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow
for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.
Ray-Bans - Put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head.
(Picture it: ass on forhead) It may be anatomically impossible, but it is
definitely worth a try.
Rim Job - Another name for tossing salad. Oral stimulation of the anus.
Focuses on the use of the tongue
Rear Admiral - When doing a chic from behind (while both partners standing),
make sure you don't let her grab on to
anything when she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside so
that you end up pushing her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or
table. It's almost as much fun to have her trip on her face on the floor.
You become an Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing
into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.
Red Wings - Another name for navigating the moose knuckle with your tongue while discovering the girl is on her rag. Be a real man and earn your red wings soldier.
Resuscitation - When a girl is asleep, carefully open her mouth so that she doesn't awake. Then, squat over her face and carefully place your shit hole on her lips. When the time is right, you let rip the biggest baddest fart ever known to man and see if it wakes her up. Great fun during those long sleepless nights.
Reverse Cowgirl - A sexual position where the girl mounts and rides cock, facing the man.
Roddy Piper, The - When getting your girl from behind, you toss the sleeper hold on her and knock her out ala Rowdy Roddy Piper. While nailing your unconscious victim, you get to simulate your life long dream of necrophilia. Now you never have to break into the morgue again.
Rodeo, The - Similar to the Bronco. You start once again, banging a chick from behind. At a pre -arranged time you grab her hair with one hand just as several buddies bust into the room. See if you can hang on for 8 seconds cowboy. Yee Haw.
Roman War Helmet - Place you nutsack on a girls forehead and your shaft across her nose resembling a roman war helmet .
Rose Creeper - Seductively brush a beautiful long stem red rose against your sweetheart's neck, breasts, and inner thigh. Slowly rub the rose along her smooth skin as you tenderly kiss her entire body. After working her into the mood for some deep love making, unzip your fly and pull out your raging boner. Begin to punish -fuck her dumper while whipping her with the rose and screaming nasty obscenities at her. I bet she never saw that coming.
Rusty Trombone - Have her jerk you off while licking your asshole. Looks
like she is playing the trombone.
S
Sandbag - Under an assumed name in a tropical region, you meet a young hottie and engage in the well known cliche of sex on the beach. Just before insertion, remove the rubber (without getting caught of course), and proceed to bang away until you blow your load, without pulling out. As you dismount and prepare for departure, grab a handful of sand, throw it in her eyes, and run away laughing hysterically while leaving her blinded, butt -necked, and knocked up. Especially lots of fun when accomplished during the spring break season.
Sandwich - Any sex act involving three people; a threesome
Screwnicorn - When a dyke puts her strap -on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.
Seatbelt - While one fag straddles his partners cock, he receives a blowjob from the fruitcake on the bottom.
Shirley Temple - Pour a can of 7 -Up on a girl's menstruating pussy and eat her out.
Shag - sexual intercourse (to have sex)
Shocker, The - When you insert your index and middle fingers in the woman's vagina and pinky in her anus. After giving her a few good minutes of double duty finger banging, pull your fingers out and give your index and middle finger a quick sniff and pinky a good sucking, all in one smooth motion.(a.k.a. Smoking the Pinky.) .
Shop Vac - When a dirty, talented tramp stuffs you're entire package (balls and all) into her mouth, and blows you with amazing suction power.
Shrimping - The term for licking or sucking your partner's toes.
Sixty-eighter (68er)- "Do me and I'll owe 'ya one". A lesbian scene where one girl will go down on the other, but the other girl will only fingerfuck or toyfuck the first girl.
Skiing - While facing in the same direction, a girl gets between two guys and jerks them both off, thus imitating some hardcore cross -country action.
SKIN-CHIMNEY - see BADLY PACKED KEBAB
Slumpbuster - When a professional athlete finds the dirtiest, nastiest, fattest, most disease -ridden skank and puts the wood to her with the intent that it will break up a slump.
Snerd Nurgling - The act of moving your anal lovers turds about within his/her lower intestine with your dick. Really popular with the lavender boys, hence the expression, "Oh Lance, Nergle me you Snerd"...
Snoodling - When an uncircumcised homo pulls his extra foreskin over the cock of another homo and proceeds to jerk him off. Those gays have way too much free time. Can be used at as a great derogatory term as in, "You Snoodler!"
Snowball - Always a blast. When doing a girl while she's on all fours,
sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.
Snuff, The - Lovingly fuck the shit out of your virgin or ragging girlfriend and wipe your bloody member across her face. Take a couple Polaroids, show them to your friends, and brag that you're a snuff film superstar.
Spider-Webbing - when you fuck your girlfriend in the ass and cum in it, then she farts, sending all the cum out in a spider-web like fashion.
Sperm Wail or Spuphemism - A verbal outburst during the male orgasm.
Starfish Trooper or Arsetronaut - A homosexual
Stingy Nut - When a chick isn't worth fucking; pull down her pants, bend her over, and jerk off all over her ass.
Stranger, The - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking
off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else
Stranger on the Rocks - Numbing your hand by sticking it in a bucket of ice and then jerking off. Spanken not stirred.
Strangers In The Night - When you and your gay buddy each numb your hand (you should know how by now) and spank each other off. Thus eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else, from someone else.
Sud N' Fud - When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old story, "I not that kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the first date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead.
Surfing - This happens when you nail a fat woman. As you watch the rippling effect of her rolls with every thrust, along with the feeling of being drenched, off balance, out of control, and in danger, you are given the sense of riding the ultimate wave.
Swamp-Donkey - A deeply unattractive woman
Swimmer's Ear - When a girl is giving you a good sucking and right before you erupt, you remove yourself from her mouth, place your purple head in her ear, and fill her ear with some sweet love seed. Hopefully, you will give her an infection.
Switch Hitter - A Bi -Sexual.
T
Taffy Pulling - A euphemism for male masturbation.
Tain't - tain't ass and tain't pussy. The demilitarized zone of flesh between these two areas.
Teabagging - When the female orally pleasures the male partner's balls while
he squats over her.
Tears of Joy - Your joy, her tears, when she swallows that rod so far back it makes her weep.
Ten-Pinter - Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.
Three-Eyed Turtle - Basically plug every orifice of a girl in the following manner: thumb in ass, fingers in pussy, and dick in mouth.
Titanic - A lady who goes down the first time out.
Todger Dodger - A lesbian.
Toolbox - The Male Genitals.
Tortoise, The - When you eat out someone who doesn't have pubic hair yet - i.e. you got there before the hair (hare) did.
Tossing Salad - Oral sex with the anus.
Treasure Trail - The fine line from the top of the clitoral hood to the belly button. It may or not be a line of hair. Especially common in pregnant women and blck women.
Tropical Wind - When getting your asshole eaten out by a worthless tramp, you break wind.
Tuna Melt - You're down on a chick lapping away and discover that it just
happens to be the time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When
the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.
Twisted Sister - Have your dominatrix girlfriend dress up in some hot black leather gimp wear and proceed to handcuff your hands behind your back and then force you to your knees. Unsuspecting, diminutive, and cradled over with your ass is in the air, she then gives you the most erotic enema of your life. Now that's some great S&M fun.
Two-Bagger or Double Bagger - Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with (one to cover their head, and one to cover yours, just incase their bag falls off).
U
Urolagnia - Sexual pleasure from watching another drink urine.
Utopian Swinger - A person who practices swinging as a total lifestyle with humanistic ideals.
Up On The Blocks - Menstruating i.e. Out of action, a bit like a car in a garage. e.g. "I don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on the blocks".
V
Vagina Decliner - A homosexual (male)
Vart (same as Queef) - To expel air from the vagina, such as the often loud
and embarrassing sound of air flapping out of a women during or after sexual
intercourse.
Vegetarian Hot Lunch - A variation of the Hot Lunch in which the diner stretches a piece of saran wrap over her mouth such that chewing (for texture) is possible, but no actual contact with waste product occurs.
Veggie Porn - All Lesbians. No meat
W
Wake Up Call - Waking up in the middle of the night with the hard on of your life. You then turn to your fast asleep partner and dry fuck her ass into oblivion. The clincher to performing a wake up call is to act like nothing of the sort happened in the morning. E.g. "Sweetheart, what's that on your back?".
WANK SÉANCE - During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that you're being watched with disgust by your dead relatives.
Walrus, The - After spunking in a girl's mouth, you pinch the center of her two lips together and hold her nose. This will force the cum to dribble out of the sides of her mouth, thus the teeth of the walrus.
Western Grip - When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use, hence, western.
Westside Glaze - Same as the eastside glaze, but the majority of your jizz lands on the left side of her face.
Woody Woodpecker - When a girl is sucking on your balls, tap your cock on her forehead.
Wanker - Slang term for someone who masturbates frequently.
Water Sports - Sex play which involves urine or enemas.
Wet Dreams - Erotic imaging during sleep that causes ejaculation.
X
X -dresser - Short for cross dresser.
Xeronisus - Inability to reach orgasm.
Y
Yoni Worship - Worship of the female genitals.
Yellow Shower - The act of urinating on a person as a means of sexual stimulation; a golden shower.
Z
Zombie Mask - While getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting, trash -barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good week's worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)