Shit Happens in various world religions

Shit Happens in various world religions

* TAOISM: Shit happens.


* CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, "Shit happens".

* ZEN: (What is the sound of shit happening?)

* JESUITISM: If shit happens and when nobody is watching, is it really shit?

* ISLAM: Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.

* COMMUNISM: Equal shit happens to all people.

* CATHOLICISM: Shit happens because you are bad.

* PSYCHOANALYSIS: Shit happens because of your toilet training.

* SCIENTOLOGY: Shit happens if you're on our shit list.

* ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad shit happens, and good shit happens.

* UNITARIANISM: Maybe shit happens. Let's have coffee and donuts.

* RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM: Let this shit happen to someone else.

* JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to US?

* REFORM JUDAISM: Got any Kaopectate?

* MYSTICISM: What weird shit!

* AGNOSTICISM: What is this shit?

* ATHEISM: I don't believe this shit!

* NIHILISM: Who needs this shit?

* AZTEC: Cut out this shit!

* QUAKER: Let's not fight over this shit.

* FORTEANISM: No shit??

* 12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the shit.

* VOODOO: Hey, that shit looks just like you!

* NEWAGE: Visualize shit not happening.

* DEISM: Shit just happens.

* EXISTENTIALISM: Shit doesn't happen; shit is.

* SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves.

* CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: Shit is in your mind.

* BUDDHISM: Shit happens, but pay no mind.

* SHINTOISM: Shit is everywhere.

* HINDUISM: This shit has happened before.

* WICCA: Mix this shit together and make it happen!

* HASIDISM: Shit never happens the same way twice.

* THEOSOPHY: You don't know half of the shit that happens.

* DIANETICS: Your mother gave you shit before your were born.

* SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No shit on Saturdays.

* JEHOVAH's WITNESSES: No shit happens until Armageddon.

* MOONIES: Only happy shit really happens.

* HOPI: Corn fertilizer happens.

* BAHA'I: It's all the same shit.

* STOICISM: This shit is good for me.

* OBJECTIVISM: Our shit is good for you.

* EST: If my shit bothers you, that's your fault.

* REAGANISM: Don't move; the shit will trickle down.

* FASCISM: Shit makes the trains run on time.

* CARGO CULT: A barge will come and take all the shit away.

* EMACS: Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.

* DISCORDIANISM: Some funny shit happened to me today.

* RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this shit.

* CHARISMATIC: This is not shit and it doesn't smell bad.

* MASONIC: Shit happens, but we can't discuss it during Lodge.

* RED CROSS: Shit happens - send money.