"Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued." Socrates
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With a little help, you'll comprehend a certain matter in ways that are new to you.

Today in 1863, Abraham Lincoln gave The Gettysburg Address. The speech is only 272 words long.
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The troubles of my heart are enlarged. O bring thou me out of my distresses. (Psalms 25:17)
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FNEWS
A stronger dollar and weak economic data push stocks lower as Dow drops 93 pts to 10,332.
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HEALTH
Researchers find strong connection between chronic headaches and heavy air pollution.
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Noisome (adj.) Offensive or disgusting. The noisome fumes of the car's exhaust made me nauseated.
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THE FIVE STAGES OF DRUNKENNESS

THE FIVE STAGES OF DRUNKENNESS




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THE FIVE STAGES OF DRUNKENNESS





Stage #1 -- Smart



This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject. You

know all and greatly wish to express this knowledge to anyone who

will listen. At this stage you are also always right. And of course

the person you are talking with is very wrong. You will talk for

hours trying to convince someone that you are right. This makes for an

interesting argument when both parties are "smart". Two people talking,

in fact, arguing about a subject neither one really knows anything

about, but are convinced that they are they complete authority on the

subject makes for great entertainment for those get the opportunity to

listen in.



Stage #2 -- Handsome/Pretty



This is when you are convinced that you are the best looking person in

the entire room and everyone is looking at you. You begin to wink at

perfect strangers and ask them to dance because of course they had been

admiring you the whole evening. You are the center of attention, and all

eyes are directed at you because you are the most beautiful thing on the

face of the earth. Now keep in mind that you are still smart, so you can

talk to this person who has been admiring you about any and all subjects

under the sun.



Stage #3 -- Rich



This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can

buy drinks for the entire bar and put it on your bill because you surely

have an armored truck full of your money parked behind the bar. You can

also make bets in this stage. Now of course you still know all, so you

will always win all your bets. And you have no concern for how much

money you bet because you have all the money in the world. You will also

begin to buy drinks for all the people in the bar who are admiring you

because you are now the smartest, prettiest, and richest person on the

face of the earth.



Stage #4 -- Bulletproof



You can now pick fights with the people you have been betting money with

because you cannot be hurt by anything. At this point you would go up to

the boyfriend of the woman who had been admiring your beautiful self

all evening and challenge him to a battle of wits for money. You have no

worry about losing this battle of wits because you know all, have all

the money to cover this bet, and you obviously win a fight that might

erupt if he looses.



Stage #5 -- Invisible



This is the final stage of drunkenness. At this point you can do

absolutely anything because no one can see you. You can get up and dance

on a table; you can strip down to your underwear, to impress the people

who have been admiring you all evening, because the rest of the people

in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person whom

you have picked a fight with earlier in the evening. You can walk through

the streets singing at the top of your lungs (because of course you are

still smart and know the tune perfectly) and no one will think anything

of it because they can't see you. All your social inhibitions are

gone. You can do anything, because no one will know.



And you certainly won't remember !

Shit Happens in various world religions

Shit Happens in various world religions

* TAOISM: Shit happens.


* CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, "Shit happens".

* ZEN: (What is the sound of shit happening?)

* JESUITISM: If shit happens and when nobody is watching, is it really shit?

* ISLAM: Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.

* COMMUNISM: Equal shit happens to all people.

* CATHOLICISM: Shit happens because you are bad.

* PSYCHOANALYSIS: Shit happens because of your toilet training.

* SCIENTOLOGY: Shit happens if you're on our shit list.

* ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad shit happens, and good shit happens.

* UNITARIANISM: Maybe shit happens. Let's have coffee and donuts.

* RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM: Let this shit happen to someone else.

* JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to US?

* REFORM JUDAISM: Got any Kaopectate?

* MYSTICISM: What weird shit!

* AGNOSTICISM: What is this shit?

* ATHEISM: I don't believe this shit!

* NIHILISM: Who needs this shit?

* AZTEC: Cut out this shit!

* QUAKER: Let's not fight over this shit.

* FORTEANISM: No shit??

* 12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the shit.

* VOODOO: Hey, that shit looks just like you!

* NEWAGE: Visualize shit not happening.

* DEISM: Shit just happens.

* EXISTENTIALISM: Shit doesn't happen; shit is.

* SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves.

* CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: Shit is in your mind.

* BUDDHISM: Shit happens, but pay no mind.

* SHINTOISM: Shit is everywhere.

* HINDUISM: This shit has happened before.

* WICCA: Mix this shit together and make it happen!

* HASIDISM: Shit never happens the same way twice.

* THEOSOPHY: You don't know half of the shit that happens.

* DIANETICS: Your mother gave you shit before your were born.

* SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No shit on Saturdays.

* JEHOVAH's WITNESSES: No shit happens until Armageddon.

* MOONIES: Only happy shit really happens.

* HOPI: Corn fertilizer happens.

* BAHA'I: It's all the same shit.

* STOICISM: This shit is good for me.

* OBJECTIVISM: Our shit is good for you.

* EST: If my shit bothers you, that's your fault.

* REAGANISM: Don't move; the shit will trickle down.

* FASCISM: Shit makes the trains run on time.

* CARGO CULT: A barge will come and take all the shit away.

* EMACS: Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.

* DISCORDIANISM: Some funny shit happened to me today.

* RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this shit.

* CHARISMATIC: This is not shit and it doesn't smell bad.

* MASONIC: Shit happens, but we can't discuss it during Lodge.

* RED CROSS: Shit happens - send money.